Thursday, September 30, 2010

New outlook

So I just found out I'm not going to clearwater after all. Kind of a bummer but I'm OK with it since it would have interfere with my moving plans. Instead they are sending me to Indianapolis to become certified there. It's a week long and close to friends, so I'm not complaining.

In other news, a co-worker and I had a very interesting conversation last week regarding continuing my education. I honestly would not have considered it. The idea of grad school and trying to work part-time just doesn't seem like a lot of fun, especially if I want to continue ttc. However, my supervisor feels that people should learn on their own and that there is no reason he should have to show me how to do things. Yet if I don't know how to do a task, he will not even give me a chance to try to crack it on my own. I really want to continue to acquire new skills so I can continue to move up in the company and increase my pay rate.

My co-worker was talking about how the company is paying him to go to grad school. Knowing the situation with my supervisor, he asked why I haven't tried to go to grad school. So out of curiosity, I tried to find a graduate program that I could do most of my work online. Of course there isn't any, however, there is a program close to our other office...the office I have been trying to transfer to for the last year. The office is within a 2hour drive of close friends and 4 hour drive to my family, which is way better than the 8 hour drive I do now.

By the next day it just hit me. This is something I really should consider. Possible free tuition. Move closer to family and friends. I would have more education than my supervisor. I could specialize in a portion of the field that our company lacks and has acknowledge as a need (plus I love the topic). The specialized topic would mean I would not have to work under my current supervisor. I loved college (maybe too much) and miss the midnight cram session and research papers(yeah, I know that is weird).

In typical Lorelei fashion, within 2 days of this conversation with my co-worker, I have already talked to our HR department and they thought the idea was great. I also set up my appointment to take the GRE and started studying vocab.

I decided that I will wait to talk to my main boss about it until I know I have the test scores to get in to grad school. I'm really jazzed about this but I do have some fears about it though:

a) the boss won't support me in my decision
b) I will graduate and then won't have a job because my current employer can't afford to keep two workers at a higher qualification (I've seen it happen before here).
c) I will give up on trying to have a family until after I graduate only to find out I can't conceive and will regret it. I would be 37 when I graduate.
d) Get pregnant and then not graduate
e) Get pregnant and not be able to enjoy being a mother due to the stress of money, school and work.

Does anyone know if you can receive more money for education if your a single mom? Grants, scholarships etc? In a perfect world, I would love to work a very limited number of hours at my current job while going to school and still have time enjoying my future child(ren). Ahhh utopia!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Nothing New

Nothing much to report. I move in a month and am really looking forward to having the extra space.

After talking to a few co-workers, I really realized I have a good thing going on here and am just oblivious to it. I'm so caught up on getting closer to my hometown, instead of trying to make a new life here. In other news, big boss man is looking at making me the official grant writer for our company. I have 9 grant proposals slated for the next few months. Its a lot, and a bit overwhelming but I'm up for the challenge. The best part about it is they might let me become a certified grant writer which means a week long training class and exam in Clearwater, Florida next month. The hotel is pretty fantastic; right on the gulf, 1/4mile from the beach, awesome pool, sexy cabana boys......sorry just drifted off :)

I just hope if I become certified, I can still continue doing planning work. It's my true passion and I can't imagine not continuing on my career path.

I'm still hoping to do a cycle in November, but I have somewhat lost my optimisim. I have started to reconsider becoming a foster parent and domestic adoption but I do want to keep trying IUI's. I wonder if my donor doesn't jive with me. Has anyone else change their donor after two cycles? How many tries should I do before I change donors?