Saturday, October 29, 2011

I've Got a Good Feeling About This One

The job interview went incredibly well and I think this just officially became my dream job. It sounds like the other two candidates that they are considering are straight out of college with a masters yet no work experience. The interviewer, who is really awesome, had a total different set of questions for me and I think I seriously knocked her socks off! I hope I'm not being overly cocky about all of this but when I left, I felt like this is where I want to be.

The job is located in downtown Milwaukee in this gorgeous old restored building close to some of the best shops and restaurants. My office (thinking positively)has a gigantic floor to ceiling window that looks out over the Milwaukee River. Say goodbye to dreary dark cubicle! Since this office just opened, there would be only my boss and I in the office while the rest of my 50 co-workers are located in another nearby city. And get this....they have a company plane to get us back and forth between our office and job sites!! When she told me that my jaw hit the table. I'm so excited about all of this, I just can't stop smiling. The interview was only suppose to last for an hour but at the end of the interview we sat and chatted for about 20 minutes only to realize that we both are from the same home town. It also gave me the opportunity to tell her that I have a couple of political connections in some of the communities that they are hoping to start getting work from. Aaahh the power of the name drop.

I should find out on Monday if they are going to call me back for a second interview. If I get the call, I get to drive back home sometime this week. Let's hope.

Lately the baby has been kicking a lot harder and he seemes to enjoy kicking me straight in the bladder. It doesn't hurt but it makes me feel like I should run to the bathroom. I kept hoping the little man would be on his best behavior while I was at the interview and thankfully he was. I still don't think the interviewer could tell I was pregnant and it probably helped when I told her I gained 60lbs since moving to Indiana.

My family threw a party together on Friday night to celebrate my brief homecoming. It was a lot of fun seeing everyone together. My uncle created some scary creature that stood about 6ft tall and put it outside, against the patio sliding door. This thing was scary on its own but when a brief rain shower came through the wind would catch its clothes and it looked like it was alive. Super freaky! Every once in awhile someone would forget it was there only to catch a glimpse and start screaming. It happened so many times that they finally just had to take it down. I joked that we should put it against the neighbors window (we know the neighbor and they have a great sense of humor) but my uncle begged us not to. He said he could just envision the neigbor getting so freaked out by this "person" looking into the window that they will have 8 cop cars outside of their house investigating this peeping tom.

I knew the question about baby names would come up at some point in the evening so I decided to tell them I was dead set on the name Diesel. My Mom and Dad gave me the dirtiest look I think I've ever gotten. Funny enough, my Aunt thought it was an awesome idea. I finally caved and told them what my real potential names were but Aunt kept calling him baby Diesel.

I don't know if I ever told this story on my blog but right before my nephew was born, I knew my sister wanted to name her son Logan which has been my baby name FOREVER. To try to give her alternatives to the name my two Aunts and I came up with a list of normal names but as the drinks kept being poured we began to come up with some really crazy ones. The one that stuck the most was "Richard Rodney" aka "Dickie Rod". It became a big hit in the family. So although his name is Logan, our family somtimes still refer to him as little Dickie Rod. Remind me to someday send him an apology letter :)

On another note, I love my ticker!! Only 127 days to go!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Another Interview

I turned down the job in Athens. It did seem like a great opportunity but at the end of the day it does make more sense for me to move closer to home. Within an hour of making that decision on Wednesday, I got a phone call to interview with a company that is within a 20 minute drive of my parents house. Talk about destiny! What seems even more remarkable is the fact that they are only interviewing 3 candidates. I like those odds! I told my mom she should make some of her awesome homemade rolls and brownies so I can coerce them into hiring me :)

They offered me an opportunity to interview via a phone conference but I thought I would have a better chance of getting the position if I interviewed in person so now I have an impromptu trip up to WI on Friday morning. I'm so excited, I feel like a girl getting ready for prom. What do I wear? How should I do my hair and makeup? Are they going to like me? What if I say something super embarrassing or don't know an answer to a question? Ahhhh!

I'm a little nervous that they will also be able to tell I'm pregnant. In the last few months I've just appeared fat (especially since I'm chubby already) however I'm starting to get a more defined baby bump. I know I keep going back and forth on this issue but I really don't want them to know I'm pregnant until after I've signed a contract or have been offered the job. Please god let them offer me this job!!

It would be so nice to move back home, especially when it comes to childcare. Two of my aunts are daycare providers and my mom has offered to take the baby on tuesdays for free. I would much rather have a family member taking care of my little one instead of a stranger. On top of that, my job requires occasional night meetings and my family is willing to help me out on those nights as well.

The only problem I forsee is the cost of housing is so much higher there than it is here. I currently pay $660 for my townhouse (including pet fees and W/D). A similar size apartment with the same amenities would cost me closer to $900 - $1000. Ouch that is a lot of money. On top of that I currently live only 5-10 minutes away from work, keeping my transportation costs to less than $40 a month. Because the Southeast WI is so much more car dependent, I'm sure that cost will jump up to $200 or more.

Oh well, I will work it out when I get the job. Crossing my fingers.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

IF Medication and Cancer?

I'm blown away by the news that Guiliana Rancic has breast cancer. About a year ago I stumbled upon her reality show when she had her first failed IVF cycle. It was really eye opening tv that hit pretty close to home. Most celebrities hide their infertility issues yet she was brave enough to lay it out there for the world to see.

And now this breast cancer diagnoses.

My aunt went through multiple IVF cycles which resulted in no pregnancies (she later divorce, got remarried, and got pregnant on her own naturally, twice). At age 40 she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer which she has been battling for the last 10 years. Her cancer is estrogen-driven (it's my understanding that not all breast cancers are like this). When she found out that I was using medication to stimulate my ovaries she told me she thought her cancer was caused by the medications she took when was trying to conceive. Of course her doctor really hasn't put much stock into her theory, however it is interesting that the news of Giuliana's cancer is bringing this controversial subject into focus.

Although I heard the original announcement from the Rancic camp stating her doctor insisted on her receiving a mammogram before she went through hormone treaments and potential pregnancy because the increased estrogen could accelerate any existing cancer; I've now heard reporters stating that IVF can cause cancer. I'm sure the reporters are just misinterpreting the news but it does make me pause. Was Rancic's doctor correct to state that IF meds can accelerate some existing cancers? Should we all be required to go through a mammogram prior to starting medicated IF cycles? I know it would give me a peace of mind just to have a follow up mammogram after the baby is born. I did have one done two years ago (which I had to fight with my family doctor to get) and it showed three false positives which were ruled out in a subsequent mammogram.

I just hope, in Guiliana's case that they caught it early enough so that she will not have to go through extensive rounds of treatment and will be able to get back on TTC wagon in the next few years. This woman needs something to go her way!

Thank you for the previous comments regarding my potential new job. My family is the most important thing to me and I have been seriously considering calling the Georgia job and telling them I'm not interested (although it looks like an awesome place to live). I think I can survive working here for a couple more months which in the interim, I hope I can find a job closer to family and friends. It would really be nice to be closer to a solid support system. I have a tendency to be overly independent but I really need to start thinking like a protective mother and not a single person with no responsibilities.

Monday, October 17, 2011

I'm Past the Half Way Mark!

I'm officially 20wks today! I'm half way there. It's funny but a week ago I felt so prepared for baby to be here and now I'm starting to feel like there is so much more to do. I know I'm just being irrational. The nursery is set up, I have tons of baby clothes, diapers and other essentials. Again, I'm only half way! Why am I doing this to myself?

I haven't heard back from the new job yet and am starting to get anxious. I keep bouncing back and forth on whether or not I want to take it. I think the new job would be great and, so far, I'm pretty impressed with what I've seen of the Athens/Atlanta area. The part that I keep getting hung up on is the fact that I will be that much further from home. It's going to be really hard to do a 15hr drive with an infant. I could fly, which I'm not so sure is much better when you consider trying to carry all the things a baby needs plus my things. Plus, I would need to find a boarding place for my dog while I'm gone and that equals more $.

My mom asked if the thought of moving was more stressful than just staying here. Good question. As of right now the answer would be no but who knows what situation my new place will be in. At the end of the day, I still just wish I could be closer to family in WI and the new job would just have me living further away.

I did come up with a plan to work my ass off to come up with the $3000 to move. Even if I don't move now, I can put it into my emergency fund. The further along I get into this pregnancy the more fear of the unknown I have. Am I really making enough to pay for daycare? I won't be able to work a second job to make more money when I overspend one month. Am I going to be able to stay true to my budget? If I move, that $3k will be forever gone and I won't have more than a couple of hundred available. That scares the crap out of me.

Friday, October 14, 2011

What to do next?

I had my job interview yesterday and it went well. They are considering me for two different positions even though I only submitted for one position. I have a strong sense that I got the job but I was so nervous during the interview that I forgot to ask what the pay was! I did find out that they wont pay relocation costs which will make moving incredibly difficult, especially with the holidays right around the corner. I figured it would cost me at least $3000 to move which is a lot of cash to come up with in one month. Can I pull this off?

I didn't tell them I'm pregnant either and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I think I will tell them if they offer me a contract. I just don't want to move only to find out I pissed my new bosses off. That's never a good way to start a job.

I also figured if I move there, I would definitely be giving birth alone. There is no way my family or friends could drive there in time. I don't know why this is bothering me now when there is still a good chance that I will go through the birthing process by myself at my current location.

I'm worried giving up christmas time with family, going through birth alone, and losing paid maternity leave are some big sacrifices in hopes that my new job will be less stressful and more enjoyable than my current position.

If I wasn't pregnant, I would just go for it. But with a baby on the way, I feel 10x's more indecisive. I know I need to move on but I'm so scared that it will backfire and then I'll be stuck 800 miles away from home with no one to rely on.

Uuugh. I just don't know what to do.

Baby boy has been playing some games with mommy this week. He seems to enjoy tucking himself under my rib cage and putting pressure on a nerve. It has caused a tremendous amount of back and hip pain. For two days straight I couldn't take more than three steps without doubling over in pain. I called the nurse (man she has to be tired of hearing from me) A) to ask about what could be causing this pain and B) My co-worker has shingles and is still going to work everyday. The nurse told me I was already exposed to the Chicken Pox so I shouldn't have to worry about getting shingles or passing it on to baby. She also told me the baby was probably just laying on a nerve and that I should go and lay down on my side to see if I could get him out of that position. Sure enough, after an hour of laying on my side, I could feel him move and the pain just vanished. Tricky little man! He's floated back to that area a couple of times since then but at least I now know how to get him away from that nerve.

Friday, October 7, 2011

What a week!!

First and most importantly....ITS A BOY!!

I found out at todays scan. Baby boy was being very difficult and continued to face towards my spine the entire ultrasound. The tech only got half of the measurements that she needed so I will need to go back and repeat the utrasound in a few weeks. The little man had his legs crossed nearly the whole session until a few minutes before the tech was going to give up and then..surprise! At one point he gave us a thumbs up which was pretty funny. Wow, I can't believe I'm having a boy! I'm so excited!

They did find an anormality with a kidney but the doctor told me that this type of anormality tends to resolve itself and I shouldn't worry about it. I'm crossing my fingers that she is correct.

Ladies, don't try to pick up things that are heavy when pregnant. Take it from me. I went to Lowes to pick up a sandbag on Monday afternoon. I figured I could get a clerk to help put it in my cart and take it out to my car. Unfortunately they all seemed to be busy so instead of waiting around I just lifted the 50lb bag myself (I still had someone take it out to my car after I checked out). About an hour or two later, I noticed a tighting in my abdomen but blew it off. It happened a couple more times on Monday and seemed to happen more frequently on tuesday. They weren't painful so I wasn't worried and just figured these were braxton hicks. Tuesday night they seemed to continue to get worse and I noticed I was having a little back pain with them. I'm hard headed and just figured I would drink a ton of liquids and they would dissipate. But then wednesday came along. I had a stressful meeting over my bosses inability to punish sleazy-d. In the middle of the meeting I realized I was getting more BH's. By the time I got out of the meeting I was having them every ten to 15minutes. That's when I started to panic. I called the nurse on duty and she told me to head into the hospitals triage unit. As you can imagine, I freaked out when she told me this.

I was at the hospital for a total of three hours. During that time the nurse that was assigned to me told me I was too early in my pregnancy to possibly have BH's and that it was just round ligament pain. I felt like an idiot but then again I thought I could tell the difference between the two. Round ligament pain causes a stretching feeling at my hips and is occasionally accompanied with sharp pains around my lower abdomen and into the top of my legs. I can always walk it off with in a matter of minutes. With the BH's, I could clearly feel my whole abdomen get rock hard for a few seconds and then it would ease up. The nurse went back and called the doctor to tell her what was going on. The nurse was so sweet and said she made a mistake and that I could have BH's as early as 16wks. I guess we both learned something that day. They did a cervical length ultrasound and it looked good at 4cm so they sent me on my way with a warning that I shouldn't return to work for a few days. She didn't have to tell me twice!!

I did come in on Thursday to discuss somethings with HR. They finally talked to the boss on wednesday while I was gone and he said he knew that sleazy-d did not like me but didn't understand why. He also admitted that he knew that there sleazy-d was doing more shady things than even I didn't know about. He told HR that from now on, even if it just one thing, I should immediately go to him about the problem. This just pissed my off because I come to him with 10 things (and proof to back it up) and boss doesn't do anything. What make him think that I will believe he will do anything when I come to him with one problem? I told HR at this point this job isn't really worth fighting for and if I stayed expecting a change I basically fit into the definition of insanity.

And then this afternoon I got an awesome phone call offering a job interview in Athens, GA! I just sent that resume last week Wednesday! I'm interviewing with them on the 13th. I'm a little nervous about moving further away from the family but its just not worth staying here. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself and need to get the job first but what a confidence booster that phone call was. I feel like I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Monday, October 3, 2011

What did you do with your extra unused medication?

I have approximately $3000 worth of unused gonal-f and ovidrel just sitting in my fridge (4 gonal f 900iu pens and 4 Ovidrels). I was just going to keep it for the next baby, but I really don't want to start trying again when this one will only be 5 mos old (some of the meds will expire in august of 2012 or a little later). The fertility clinic nurse told me I could use it up until 6 mos after the expiration date which still does not give me a lot of time between children.

I thought of donating it but my doctor told me it isn't a tax deductible donation. I'm generous but I can't just give away $3000 when I know I have a move and a new baby on the way. I'm thinking about selling the online for half the price. Is this a bad idea? Has anyone else done this? What did you do with your unused medication?