Friday, April 30, 2010


I have been working like a mad woman lately. I've put in at least 60 hours at the day job and 15-20 at the restaurant. I'm exhausted and I need to slow down, but I want to put money away so I can have enough to take a larger maternity leave. Maybe I will try to leave a little early today and get a little shut eye before heading to the restaurant tonight.

Although I'm exhausted, I'm excited for my first lab work. I go in at 8:30 tomorrow. Next week I get my HSG done and then I will be ready to start next cycle. WOOT WOOT.

Friday, April 23, 2010


Let's get this show on the road already!! I'm still less than a week away from CD1 but I wish it was yesterday. I'm so impatient, I just want to know what days I need to ask for some time off. How do people balance fertility treatments with work? I have meetings non-stop this next week and am trying to figure how I can sneak away for an hour or so to do blood work.

I nearly had a panic attack yesterday, when I realized I'm still a year away from paying off my car. Can I afford a baby and a car payment? I know it sounds funny that I just started freaking out about this now, but I guess I have nothing better to do than stress out. Then I remind myself that my cousin, 19, just had a baby and gets by just fine without a HS diploma and a job at walmart. Granted she has a boyfriend that helps, but still, I'm in a better financial situation then both of them combined and they still manage to make it work. Kudos to them.

During all my irrational thinking yesterday, I thought about waiting until august to start trying since I have two mini-vacations planned in the next few months and my IUI would potentially fall on those days. But then again, I just don't want to wait any longer. I've read plenty of SMC blogs that said they wished they didn't keep putting it off, that there would always be something that would make them think they couldn't do it now. I don't want to follow in those foot steps. I already told the family I wouldn't make it up for vacation 1. I hate to tell them I will miss vacation 2 plus I think I am going to need it as a mental health break:)

On to a different topic, I love to keep my patio door open so my dog can hangout on the patio when he wants. So, the other day I opened the patio door and proceeded to hangout on the couch while watching TV. All of a sudden, a bird flew in, circling my living room and went right out the door again. I barely had a moment to yell, it just happened so quickly. Needless to say, the screen will now be used for the rest of the summer. I hope the bird enjoyed the tour.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Bummed Out

So I went and saw the counselor yesterday. She gave a short spiel on choosing a donor, performed some blood work and other basic tests on me and then asked if I had any questions. For some reason, doc never mentioned to the counselor (she's a nurse too) that I needed an HSG and neglected to tell me that I couldn't get the HSG done during the month that I am TTC. $hit. I almost cried when she told me that, but then I sucked it up and decided it would be better so I can put more money away.

Now the earliest I can start is the end of May, which means I would have to miss my vacation with my family. Depending on how that cycle goes (crossed fingers) I won't have to miss 4th of July for another attempt.

And now for picking a donor......

Seems like another SMC blogger(Baby thoughts while reality bites) is going through the same dilemna. Who do you pick? How important are each aspect of the medical history? How do you know what Bank is the best? Should I only buy two vials or go and buy 6? It's comforting to see that I am not the only one having troubles with this big decision. I was all excited about "shopping around" for baby daddy juice, but now its a little overwhelming. At least I have another month to truly decide, but my indicisiveness is killing me!

On more positive news, I had to let my HR person at my real job know about my plans so she could help me answer some questions about my insurance benefits and how to go about telling my boss. I got such a great response from her, that it just made my day. When I tell my boss in a couple of months, I hope he has the same reaction.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Can I do this?

So I have to say that the conversation with the RE finally sunk in. I originally thought the chance of twins was around 7% and triplets was around .03%. Those are odds I am willing to play. Now that the RE said my percentage is more like 20% and 1-3%, I'm not feeling so confident. I have met plenty of single mothers who have done well with one child (even some whom have gone on to have another a few years later) and have managed. But two or three at the same time?

Needless to say, I have not gotten a lot of sleep the last few nights. On one hand the possibility of twins is exciting. I really want to have two children eventually so it would work out well in that aspect. Dressing them a like, watching the two play together, etc. But then I think of the health concerns that may pop up during a pregnancy with multiples. It scares me. Will I be brave enough to handle having my babies in the NICU? Will I be able to handle if all financially? Can I handle a long time on bedrest? I guess I jumping way ahead of myself, but I just like to be prepared as much as possible.

God, I sound neurotic.

To top it off, I have developed a mad crush on a co-worker. When I'm around him, all I think about having his lips on mine. We've worked together for a year, and honestly, we rarely talked until recently. I have no idea why I am suddenly so attracted to him now when 6 months ago I wouldn't even look in his direction. Maybe all this baby business is bring up all my sexual frustrations. Oh fun:)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

First Appointment with the RE

I have some renewed faith that I am indeed doing the right thing. My appt went really well. I was slowly getting nervous while I was waiting in the waiting room but I was not as nervous as the couple sitting next to me (their first appt with the RE too). The husband was pacing the room back and forth while his wife would pick up a magazine, flip through it for a second, set it down, look at her watch, pick the magazine up again. I felt really bad for them and wanted to tell them it would be ok, but I felt it would be too personal so I continued to read the book I brought.

After 30 minutes in the waiting room, the nurse called me in and sat me down in a small conference room decorated with a fantastic plastic uterus and penis. She quickly went over some basic medical questions (allergies, past surgeries and such) and then told me the doctor would be in to see me.

The doctor was really friendly and outgoing. The last few nights I kept having nightmares that he would scold me for trying to pursue this dream. Definitely not the case. He assured me he had done this many times before. He then explained the procedure and discussed his plan with me. I will be using injectables (Ovidrel and Gonal F). While your in your 20's you ovulate around 9x's a year but once your in your early 30's that number goes down to 5 or 6x's a year. He felt that injectables were the best approach for me. He promised that there would be no "Jon and Kate plus eight" situations and that they would cancel the cycle if I had too many mature eggs. They said they will not do more than 3 cycles of IUI and if I am not pregnant by then that they would try another approach. The clinic has a success rate of 35% per cycle with this approach with a 20% chance for twins and a 1 to 2% chance of triplets.

Please god, NO triplets! Twins.......maybe manageable.

I have a meeting with the counselor Wednesday the 14th. She will go over the process of choosing a donor. The RE was very particular about what sperm banks they will allow. He explained that they will only allow me to use certain sperm banks because they allow the FDA to monitor (not required by law)and examine their collection and storage methods. It gave me some peace of mind knowing that.

After the meeting with the counselor it will be time to buy my "specimen". They want it at the clinic before I start my cycle. I will be inseminated twice per cycle. As was explained to me, they want me to buy unwashed sperm because it will have better numbers and motility. Yippee.

I have been on prenatal vitamins, but they also want me to take an extra folic acid (understand) and a baby aspirin (?). Thought that was interesting.

So the big plan....have the sperm delivered to the doc's office before the 28th of April. Call the doctor on CD1 to schedule an appt on CD3 to do all my blood work. If all goes well, I do an HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) on CD 7-11 and then I will be ready to do my first IUI!

After the appointment with the doctor, I had a meeting with the office financial counselor. I thought it would be a lot more money. So far (knock on wood) it looks like my insurance will pick up the tab on my meds, ultrasounds, blood work, and HSG.
My total cost out of pocket (minus the sperm) is around $770. I was totally preparing myself for $2000 a try. The counselor said that the sperm shouldn't cost that much because it will be purchased unwashed (they do it at the doctor's office lab). So right now I'm thinking around $1300 a try.

Out of curiosity, I asked what the total would be for a cycle if I didn't have insurance. The doctor has a package that covers the cost of the IUI and monitoring for $2000. I am almost positive that this package does not include medication which in my case is around $1000. Thank god for insurance!

I feel so much better now that I have a better idea of how this process is going to be.

I talked on the phone to a friend who I will be visiting around memorial weekend. While we were making plans for my visit, she reminded me that I might be pregnant by the time I get to visit her. Let's hope she is right!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

So close!!!

7 days till the consultation! I've started compiling a list of questions to ask. Your input would be greatly appreciated. I'm so excited and I can't stop thinking about it.

I've also decided to start trying next month. Why wait? If it works on the first try, GREAT! If it doesn't, I won't feel like I wasted time, and then on to the next iui.

I've been stressing out on this project for work for about a month now. Yesterday was my big presentation. I didn't get a fuzzy feeling during the first meeting in February to introduce my introductory ideas but this last meeting was totally a HIGH FIVE meeting. The head hauncho kept saying "where did you get this idea? This is exactly what we need!!!". High five to me!! Whew...what a relief.