Thursday, February 23, 2012

3 days!

Really....3 days??? Everyday it gets a little closer to the big day and yet it still seems so unreal. I guess reality is going to be slapping me in the face soon enough.

Thank you again for your advice. I decided to casually mention it to HR which than turned into a two hour long conversation with her venting just as much as I was. Our HR girl just shook her head and then did a face plant into her desk when she heard they still haven't organized my departments work schedule. HAHA. I guess I'm not the only one having problems with people not understanding how FMLA and HIPAA work. We had another co-worker out for two weeks for medical reasons before they alerted HR about it. His manager didn't realize there was paper work to fill out and worse, didn't realize that he couldn't tell everyone and their mother what medical condition this guy has, which this co-worker did not want others to know about.

I think that, in general, most people (managers and associates alike) do not how FMLA and HIPAA work. I know I didn't really know how it all works until I became pregnant. She has decided to come up with a email to provide some of the highlights of FMLA and HIPAA and when we do open enrollment seminar for our insurance in May, she said she would do a little class on it.

When it came to still trying to get me to work longer and while I'm on leave HR told me to tell them to F@CK -Off. Gotta love it :) She told me not to worry about it and keep telling them no, they got a 7 1/2 month warning and they should have figured this out a long time ago.

Yesterday I found out part of their reason for asking me to help out longer was because our department head has decided to take off for the next three weeks so he can vacation in FL. He's leaving this Friday too yet he just notified everyone of this on Monday (Yes, that's three days ago). Any sympathy or guilt I have just went out the window.

In other much more exciting news (and maybe TMI for some ppl), I lost the rest of my mucous plug last night!! Never thought I would be so excited over mucous. I went for my typical evening walk but could only get half the distance that I normally do because little man's head was so low I had to keep stopping from all the pressure. When I got back and went to the bathroom, there it was.

I know this is probably wishful thinking but I hope when they check me in to the hospital sunday night and I will be 3-4 cm dilated and get to skip the cytotec and go straight for the pitocin. Now that I think about it, I wonder how far dilated you need to be before they break your water and give you pitocin. Anyone know? 3-4 might not be enough. Oh wait, does it have more to do with what station your at? hmmm.... Dr. Google time.

Gosh, I just thought of something. This will probably be the last post before I have the baby. I will try to post a picture or something as soon as I can next week :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

5 Days!

I know I can be a bit of a pushover sometimes when it comes to work but damn this is ridiculous. We had our meeting this morning. You know the meeting about a meeting, about a meeting regarding my departure. Maybe it's just my point of view, but the work load doesn't look any worse (or better for that matter) than what we discussed a month ago. We have made the progress that we planned on making for this last month. Now all of a sudden, Its not good enough even though the bosses established our to-do-list.

I do work with a couple of guys who totally understand that I am not going to be working while on maternity leave and I thought after HR talked to my managers/bosses, etc. , they understood this as well. I was first asked to come in this weekend to help. I didn't directly say no, but I said that I was really hoping to have the weekend to prepare my house and get some rest before my induction. Then this guy, whose wife just gave birth less than a year ago and should know better, says "wow. hmmmm. this is going to put us in a bind". Seriously, this pissed me off because I requested this three month maternity leave when I was only 9 weeks pregnant. It's not like I sprung this on them last week. I think one of my co-workers, who is very supportive of me, looked like he was going to jump over the table and slap him. Then he asks "are you sure you couldn't just come in once in while over your vacation (yeah buddy this is not a VACATION) to help us out". I tried to explain verbatim what HR had already discussed with nearly 90% of the people, including him, in the room. If I work, I lose my disability pay. All I got were more sighs. After 45 minutes of this, nothing changed from the original plan. I don't want to make it sound like there was yelling or anything crazy but it was more like a "oh shit, what are we going to do for the next couple of months" and a "maybe if we play the poor-us card, maybe she will reconsider the amount of time she's taking off".

The clincher was a client who called this morning, about two hours after our meeting, saying they want me to write a grant application that is due at the end of March. I told him I would love to help but couldn't because I am leaving on Friday for maternity leave, assuming that he didn't know this (he knew I was pregnant but not my due date). He tells me, yes I know but I just talked to so-and-so, another one of my bosses, and he said if I asked nicely you would probably be willing to work from home on it. Oh boy. I kept my cool but told him I wouldn't be able to guarantee that I could give it my full attention while I'm at home with a newborn and didn't want to put him in a difficult position if I couldn't deliver the quality of work that this application requires. He seemed ok with my response.

It's funny (ironic), that just a few months ago I was painted as this over-opinionated stubborn person and now they think I'm a doormat.

I'm kind of wondering if I should mention these requests to work while I'm on mat leave to HR to make them aware that the previous discussions regarding the rules of maternity leave/FMLA have gone in one ear and out the other? Or, maybe I should just let it go. Regardless, I've got a feeling I'm going to be receiving a lot of phone calls from work while I'm on "Vacation".

I walked three miles last night (I normally try to do at least 1-2 a night anyways). Results: Swollen feet. No contractions. How is it that just a month ago I was getting them all the time and now that I'm approaching my due date there is nothing?

I tried a little nipple stimulation with my breast pump (For only 15 minutes, so I wasn't trying that hard) and all that resulted in breast tissue pain (which I started feeling this morning).

I don't necessarily want to go into labor at this point (which may seem contrary to the two paragraphs above) but I would do anything to be a little more dialated and effaced than 2 cm before my induction. I think tonight I'm going to do the boucing on the ball technique. I have a growth scan and a regular ob appointment tomorrow. I'm so curious to see how big little man has gotten in the last month!

Monday, February 20, 2012

6 days!

I love my aunt Sharon. She called me last night and told me that she wanted to come down to visit me when no one else was around so they are moving their visit to the end of the month. That's four less people crammed into my place on the weekend of the 10th. Whoop, Whoop. She was pretty funny about it all. She said that she had some selfish motives behind the date change, she wanted the baby all to herself. Awesome. Now I just need to convince my other aunts and my grandmother to come a week later.

I can't stop thinking about my upcoming induction. I'm excited but really nervous/curious about how it's all going to play out. The pain!! It's my biggest fear along with tearing and needing stiches. blah...

I just have to laugh. It's 4:45pm. One of my bosses just came up and asked me how long I plan on being here. I told him friday and no later (told him the same thing last Thursday). Then he says we need to sit down and talk about how I'm going to get all these projects done by the time I leave (which equals about 3 months of work for two people to do). Uuuhhhh, havent we had this conversation like 10 times in the last month and wasn't it clear that they would need to get someone else to help out? Am I trapped in the movie "Ground hogs Day"? I was in shock that he asked and didn't know how to answer so I just sat there with my mouth slightly opened. Then he asks if I have any solutions to the problem. I mentioned that we had discused getting an intern but that was back in January. I really thought they had started that process, but clearly they hadn't. At this point, by the time they hire an intern and train them, I will most likely be back within a week or two. I then tried to refresh his memory and explained that we worked together to create a realistic list of things to complete before I left (which I'm really close to finishing) so that they would be in a better position to complete the work during my absence. We also passed some of the work load to our secretary (who isn't trained to do what I do). I don't think he realized there was that much work that needed to be completed still, now he's panicking 4 days before I leave. He then pulls in my manager and asks what his schedule will be like for the next couple of months (again, 10th conversation regarding co-workers schedule). I know we haven't seen eye to eye in the past and he has kind of put himself in this situation by taking work away from me for months on end, but I truly feel sorry for this guy. We've both been staying late and coming in on weekends just to keep our heads above water, now with me leaving, he doesn't stand a chance. Now it sounds like we are going to have another department meeting about our previous meetings about me leaving. Ghaaaawwwwd! I hope I go into labor tonight!!

Friday, February 17, 2012

10 days!

So the plan is as follows:

Next sunday morning my best friend arrives mid-day, then we are off to an awesome dinner (it better be awesome because I wont be able to eat until the baby is delivered). Finally, Check-in at the hospital at 9pm.

Best friend will be staying until baby is born then she is off on her 5 hour drive back home. As of now she still has to work tuesday morning but if she can get out of it she will be staying until tuesday night. I am so thankful for her!!

If I have a vaginal birth I will be released on wednesday, c-section will mean I will be released thursday or friday. My parents will be down that saturday, so that means I still need to find someone who can take me home. I'm just a dumb first-time mom and really thought I would be allowed to drive home myself (if I have a vaginal delivery) but I just found out they wont let me drive for a week :( I think a couple of my co-workers will be available to help so hopefully this will all work out. I don't know if I'm excited to have a couple days alone with the baby before the family madness begins or scared out of mind.

So my parents will be down for a week (3rd through the 10th) but they are bringing their two yapper dogs. They are cute but they don't ever shut up and they are not fully potty trained!! I told my mom they aren't allowed inside the house with out a bark collar on. Side note, Cooper (my dog) seems to have picked up this barking habit while staying at their house. I'm hoping I can break him of this fast! I'm not exactly thrilled about them bringing their dogs, afterall, my brother could easily watch them while my parents are away, but my mom said they would only stay for three days if they couldn't have the dogs with them. I was too tired to argue with her so I conceeded.

My sister and her family will only be down the 7th through the 10th and will be staying at a hotel. As of today, the rest of the family will be there from the 9th through the 11th. I'm just going to suck it up, its only for a few days and then I will have no one around. Gulp!!

I went to my first single mothers group last week and forgot to post about it. While some of the conversations were interesting (how to save money, living without sleep for the first few months, daycare centers, etc), there were some serious awkward moments. What is up with single woman calling their ex-spouses/boyfriends etc sperm donors?? Aahhh I cringed everytime I heard it! I wanted to say something, but I seemed to have lost my balls this last month (I'm normally not to afraid to say whats on my mind). I really don't know if I'm going to return for a second round with this group. Even though we are all going it alone, I just didn't feel like I could relate to many of the women. The conversation was mainly dominated by child support issues. What do I have to offer in a conversation regarding child support? I really wish I didn't live in an area where being a SMC is a novelty.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

17 days......11 days!!! Update

So the sonographer got it partially right. I have been scheduled for an induction but it's not for this weekend, it will be next weekend. 11 days from now I will report to the hospital at 9pm to begin the next phase of my life, mommyhood.

The doctor didn't say anything to me about the induction last time because she wanted to make sure I was ok with it. I had previously told her (when I was 5 mos along)I wouldn't be interested in it unless it was absolutely necessary. So what made me change my mind? That leads me to all the other things going on.

So my dad's knee replacement surgery went well, according to my dad. The rest of the family said it hadn't gone well at all. He was released from the hospital only to be sent to a rehabilitation center. Dad says he will only be there for a couple of more days. The rest of the family says that he will be kept there until the first full week of March. Catching on to the pattern? Dad says the best weekend to have the baby is next weekend (24th-26th), Mom says they can't come down until the weekend of March 10th because of Dad's rehab. I can't get a straight answer. It sounds like no matter when I have this little guy, they are probably not going to be around for it.

Which brings me to the whole idea that I was planning to either take a taxi to the hospital or drive myself while I'm in labor. I've mentioned it on here once before and I've talked about it at work, but the overwhelming response was not to try either. The taxi service here is really hit or miss. They could get to you in ten minutes or two hours, depending on what time of day it is. A lot of the girls at work said there was no way they would have been able to drive to the hospital without getting into a car accident. I decided to mention it to the doctor today. I literaly live 3.2 miles from the hospital (8 minutes from my door step to the lobby of the hospital, I timed it today). She said without hesitation that I could definitely do it. I have had co-workers who have generously offered to take me, but little miss independent that I am, I really don't want them to have to go out of their way to take me. Plus I feel really weird about them staying and being there for the birth. I have a strict no-co-worker/seeing my lady bits policy. It creeps me out. If I'm induced, I really don't need to worry about finding someone to drive me to the hospital, I can just do it all myself.

Work has been bananas. I can't wait to be done but you've all heard my crazy stories. I've had five meetings in the last three weeks regarding my departure. Each meeting was meant to establish who would take over my unfinished projects. Each of the meetings are carbon copies of the previous ones yet no one seems to understand whose doing what or how to complete the project. This probably stems from the fact that they chose our secretary to complete the majority of my projects. She has no background working in my field at all. I think choosing her to cover me just shows how much my boss has no clue what I do. The whole thing is like watching a train wreck. You can sense how bad the results are going to be yet you can't turn away from the horror. She's just as freaked out as I am but there is no amount of explaining that will ever help her finish this work. I feel really bad for her, she's really stressing out over it. I can tell already that I am going to have some serious messes to clean up when I come back in May. In the same aspect, I'm thankful that I can get out of here soon. Since my last day will be on the 24th, I will arrive back 2 weeks prior to the due date for 7 of my projects. Although there is no way I can finish them in that short amount of time, I can at least clean them up a bit and correct some of the mistakes before they are submitted.

Last thursday, I received a text message from my aunt saying she can't wait to come down and meet the baby. Then she goes on to say that they (her, my two cousins and my uncle) aren't car pooling with my two other aunts, their husbands and my grandmother because she would go nuts being in the car with them for that long. I had no idea that any of them were planning on coming down, no one said anything to me about it.

At that point it sounded like they weren't all coming down on the same weekend, but then I find out that they are all coming down on the weekend of the 10th. If my mom was right and not my dad, that would be the week that my parents would be down staying with me. Then my aunt tells me don't worry, we are all (aunts, uncles, grandmother) staying at a hotel. I just kept thinking even if they are staying at a hotel, during the daytime, they are going to try to cram 11 people, 13 if you include myself and the baby, into my 900sq ft townhouse. That is standing room only folks! My living room only seats four people just to indicate how small my living room is.

I didn't know what to say to my aunt and I didn't want to offend her so I just replied back that I can't wait to see them. I then called my sister to tell her my concerns and she tells me that's the weekend that her and her husband were planning on coming down with their two kids (they were also planning on staying at a hotel. Now thats 17 people trying to cram themselves into my apartment. She told me she understood why I'm freaking out, afterall she just went through this in October when she had her daughter, however this large group only stayed for a couple of hours. Due to me living out-of-state, they are all planning (except my parents who will be here for a week) on being at my place Friday afternoon and leaving Sunday afternoon. If I went past my due date, they would most likely be there the first few days I would be home from the hospital. Talk about stress!! I would be learning to breastfeed and then also trying to play hostess, no way!

So I thought I would just start calling people and explain how everyone being here at the same time would be really overwhelming and to see if they could spread out their visits over the next few weeks instead of being here all on the same weekend. My sister thought it was a great idea but when I explained the situation to my mom, she freaked and told me that it was really rude of me to suggest it. I really do love that everyone is so supportive but all my aunts have kids, I think they would understand how hard it is the first few weeks after giving birth. I still haven't made the phone calls yet because my mom is so sure this is going to hurt everyone's feelings. Then Mom drops the bomb on me and tells me that my favorite Aunt, who has been battling breast, liver and bone cancer for the last 7 years, found out in November that her cancer was back. Nobody wanted to tell me because that was around the time that I was told the baby might have down syndrome. Since November she has been going through chemo but in the last week they found out that the chemo didn't work. Basically, this trip to see the baby wasn't just for the baby but it's also to be a positive fun trip for the whole family to be together and support my aunt. How can I tell them to space their trips out after hearing that? Who knows what else they are not telling me about my aunts condition?

I figured the only way to give me some time to get settled in before the family descends on my place was to take my doctor up on the early induction offer. She said that their really wasn't any health benefits to keeping me pregnant past 39 weeks so I've decided to go for it. I've heard great things about inductions and I've heard horror stories about them. Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself when I say this, but I heard good and bad stories about getting a cerclage removed, yet it really wasn't that bad. I'm just hoping for an uneventful birth of my little boy.

For the next week I'm going to just focus on doing things that will make me prepare for my induction. Maybe some longer walks? Lots of pineapple? Sex is out of the question (Even if it was available, it doesn't sound appealing anyways). I'm already dialated to 2 cm and am 60% effaced. Lets see what I can accomplished between today and next sunday.

17 days!

Sorry, I don't mean to be MIA for so long but everytime I start creating a new post, I get interrupted with work. First, I'm still pregnant. Things are going really well (Knock on Wood). I had a perinatologist appt yesterday and the fluid around the baby went up again to a 11.2 which is awesome considering just 3 weeks ago I was at a 6.9. The running joke at the office is that they are going to start charging me for water and TP. I have to be drinking well over a gallon of water every 8 hours but I'm so darn thirsty I can't help myself. At least it is keeping the fluid around the baby nice and high.

When I say I had a perinatologist appointment what that really means is that I got to spend some quality time with the sonographer while receiving a biophysical. I never saw the specialist. The sonographer had me scratching my head by the end of the appointment. In the middle of the scan she started saying how I must be so excited to be getting induced this weekend. Aaaahhhhh, what????? She read the chart again and said yeah it says right hear your getting induced this Friday. WTH?? Why? Everything is going ok? This is the first I've heard of this. She went to get the doctor but he hadn't arrived yet and told me to clarify it with my OB, who I get to see in about 50 minutes. I really think it's some kind of mistake, the doctor has already made the mistake of thinking I'm a week ahead of where I'm at. So now I'm waiting to find out what the heck is going on. I'm ready if that's what is going to happen but I'm not sure the baby is ready.

So much more has happened in the last week, which I will share in a later post but for now I'm off to the doctors office.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

25 days...and turning it all around!

I am smiling from ear to ear right now. I just left my biophysical and the fluid around the baby is at a 9.1. It's back in the normal range!! I was kind of hoping they would say that I wouldn't have to do these appointments anymore but I still have to go for biophysicals for the remaining weeks. I am so pumped right now! Wouldn't it be a trip if I make it past my due date? The thought of it just makes me laugh. I still have an appointment with my regular ob this afternoon but I can't imagine anything going wrong (knock on wood). I can't wait to see her face when she reads my chart!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

26 days

So most of the cramping tapered off by noon along with the spotting. Perfect. I'm wondering if I'm still just overdoing it somehow. I was cleaning the night before, not alot but enough were I was glad to be able to lay around afterwards. This might make a good excuse to pay for a maid to come in:)

My parents picked up my dog this morning. If it wasn't such a funny sight to see 4 adults and a big lab along with all their luggage crammed into a Nissan Ultima, I would have been bawling my eyes out. I have no idea how they are going to make that 7 hour drive in that clown car. Cooper got into the car without a problem (what dog doesn't like a car ride), but he looked a little panicked when he realized I wasn't getting in the car with him. He had his nose all pressed against the window, with the saddest brown eyes I've ever seen. I'm sure he will be fine staying at my parents for the next 3 weeks but I am going to miss that dog like crazy.. I already do.

Funny enough my remaining cat was howling for an hour after they left. She hates the dog and is always attacking him even for no reason. She was probably thinking she is the next to go....first my Evie Cat, then Cooper disappears....Oh crap, I'm next. Maybe this will make her start behaving. Wishfull thinking.

I don't think I slept a wink last night. I was a little anxious about Cooper leaving and then there was a crazy car chase through my neighborhood which ended with a manhunt for two suspects that had robbed the gas station down the street. I swear there had to be twenty squad cars searching my neighborhood with their big flood lights. At least I can say the PD where on top of things.

What really kept me up last night was me thinking about this upcoming round of doctors appointments. I'm sure I've said it before, but it really sucks going to these appts and not knowing what to expect. Is everything ok? Are they going to put me on bedrest? Are they going to induce me? The not knowing is bitterly painful. I wish there was something to keep my mind off of all of this but there isn't. I think the worse part is I'm starting to get the daily phone calls from friends and family to see if I've had him yet. I think its way too soon to be getting these phone calls. I'm only 36 weeks people!! It's nice to know that they care, but it just makes me more anxious. I would seriously consider turning off my phone if I knew it wouldn't send some people into a frenzy.

Monday, February 6, 2012

27 days and its a full moon!

I started spotting last night and accompanied with a lot of pressure in my nether region. It's like I'm carrying a bowling ball with my lady bits. I should video tape how I'm walking so I will always remember how ridiculous I look right now. If I take a walk out by the lake, I think some of the ducks will start following me, thinking that I'm one of them.

I continued to have mild off and on cramping since I had my cerclage removed but this morning it has been non-stop. Now I'm not saying I'm in labor but there is something funny going on here. I called to move my appointment up with my doctor. The earliest they could get me in is wednesday morning (my original appt was that afternoon anyways). I'm still anti-triage but if this continues at this pace, I'm heading in by the end of the day. Perfect timing if something does happen because my family will be driving through my city around midnight while they are on there way back from their cruise.

Now watch all this cramping and pressure is just caused by BH's or gas pains..haha.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

31 days...Surprise!

No, I didn't have the baby. The better news is I got my fluid to go up by .2 so the doctor told me as long as I keep doing whatever I did this lask week he will let me stay off of bedrest. What a relief!! I don't think I could handle true bedrest without going nuts from boredom. He did remind me the increase in fluid wasn't enough to put me in the normal range and that bedrest and induction can still be on table for discussion next week. Way to bring me back down to earth doc! At least I now know that laying around and drinking gobs of water can really help. My blood pressure still looks good and the nurse was joking around that I have only gained 3lbs since November and that pregnancy will end up being a great weight loss program for me (I started off overweight so I wasn't suppose to gain more than 15lbs this pregnancy). After my sister gained 60lbs in her pregnancy, I thought that I would follow her path but I guess not. Oooh, it would be a nice surprise to not only get a baby out of all of this but also go down two pant sizes. I still have a month left which leaves plenty of time to pack on more pounds so hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.

I'm still having a lot of cramping but hopefully when the weekend comes I can just relax enough on the couch to make them go away. The doctor just told me that the cramping can last for days after the cerclage is removed and to not worry about it.

I said the stupidest thing this morning. I just have to share. I keep thinking my belly is getting smaller. I told this to one of my female co-workers and she started to laugh hysterically. I didn't think it was funny.
Why is that funny? She told me her and another co-worker just got done joking around that my boobs have gotten huge over the last week or two. Then it dawned on my that my point of reference on the belly size has been my girls. They gotten so pornographically huge, I can barely see my belly anymore. Duh...

I'm so excited that I might prove my regular OB wrong (she said if I made it past this week I would be lucky). On Saturday I will be 36 weeks, maybe I can make it to 37 weeks or later!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

32 days!

To say I am a nervous wreck is an understatement. I've been having contractions off and on since late Monday night which isn't helping the situation. Some of them would jolt me awake causing me to kick the dog who has been insistant on laying on my legs at night. He's been so clingy and whiney the last few days, he's kind of driving me nuts. Normally, he is super excited to go to doggy daycare and drags me through the door when we get there, but this morning he wouldn't leave my side. They had to distract him with a doggy treat so I could get out the door. As soon as the door closed behind me, he caught on to me leaving and ran for the door. I could see his sad face at the window while I was driving away. It broke my heart.

My stomach is just in a knot, to think by the morning I may be put on bedrest or (gulp) be induced is just wild! Am I ready for all of this?