Sunday, May 5, 2013

Scary Weekend

Gavin has had three teeth working their way up for the last week.  The last set of teeth to come in were accompanied by excessive drooling, crankiness and low grade fever.  Gavin started to have the same symptoms again last Sunday so I didn't think that much about it.  All week, his fevers never went above 100 degrees until Friday, when daycare called to say that his fever jumped to 103 degrees and he broke out into a rash.  I picked him up and headed over to the doctors office.  Gavin was his typical goofy self, laughing and giggling in the back seat like nothing was wrong.  I felt a little silly taking him in, but the rash was a little weird looking and since he had strep just two weeks ago I thought their was a chance that it was back.  But the strep test came out negative so the doctor just sent us home, telling me to give him motrin, tylenol and benadryl.  After a few doses, his fever dropped back to 100 degrees by bedtime.  I checked on him a couple times during the night and, while he felt a little warm to the touch, it wasn't anything to be overly concerned about. 

All that changed in the morning when he woke up with another 103 degree temp.  After a dose of motrin, the fever, again went down to 100 degrees.  Once Gavin woke up from his nap, we began playing on the floor.  Things were going well and we were having a good time until he suddenly stopped banging on his xylephone, got this blank look on his face and slumped to the floor.  His eyes were still open and he was tracking my movement but he wasn't making a sound.  As I quickly picked him up, I could instantly tell that he was burning up.  I made the snap decision to race him to the ER.  I can't even begin to express how terrified I was.  As I placed him in his car seat, he seemed to become a little more alert which gave me a false sense that maybe I was overreacting.  As I sped to the hospital, he again slumped into his chair, never opening his eyes or responding to me touching him or talking to him.  I ran him into the hospital, were they immediately brought us back into triage. 

My son is a flirt, and as I found out yesterday, able to flirt even when he is incredibly sick.  He laughed and giggled with the nurses, which I'm sure made the nurses think I was lying about what I just observed.  They took their time taking his weight and O2 levels.  They finally place him on the bed and were blown away when his temp was 105.2.  They quickly gave him more motrin and took him into another room to see the doctor.  Even the doctor was a little taken aback by Gavin climbing and running all over the hospital room.  The doctor decided to do a chest xray to make sure he didn't have pneumonia but said that his fever was probably just a virus and that if Gavin was really in danger, he would not be giving the doctor high fives or flirting with the nurses.  Of course the chest xray came out negative so they sent us on our way once Gavin's fever got down to 102. 

Since leaving, Gavin's fever keeps going into the 104 range and it is scaring me to death.  I am aggressively keeping him on a motrin/tylenol rotation every three hours but it just doesn't seem to give him any relief.  I feel so helpless and hate seeing my little guy so sick.

I am planning on staying at home with him tomorrow but I am down to my last three days of sick time.  Since the first of the year, Gavin has had the norovirus which made him sick for 8 days, strep for two days and this illness has taken me out of work for a day and half.  I am praying that he will stay healthy for the rest of the year.   At this point, I can't imagine trying to get pregnant the rest of the year because if I have any problems during my pregnancy and have to miss work, they will probably fire me (We have a clause in our contract that will not let us take time out of work that is not covered by our sick and vacation time unless it falls under FMLA).  I guess my hesitation to start trying again was a sign of things to come.

Thursday, May 2, 2013


The day has come to start my first cycle and I just can't get myself to make the phone call to my RE.  What happened?  Last month I was so ready to start trying (but couldn't because of work commitments) and now I can't stop second guessing my decision.  I want Gavin to have a sibling but I know adding another baby into the mix is going to turn our life upside down.  I'm sure it will be a "good" upside down, but I can't get over how I will deal with the logistical issues like getting two kids ready in the morning, grocery shopping, traveling 6 hours to my parents house, etc.  I want to wait until I sort out all of these anxieties but now I have all these meds sitting in my refrigerator inching it's way to their expiration date. 

At first glance, waiting one more month before I start trying wont be the end of the world but then again I do feel like my body is still in the"Now or Never" state, after all, I'm not getting any younger.   Going forward is such a monumental decision that doesn't just affect me, it affects Gavin as well, it's hard to know whether having baby two right now is the right decision.

The RE wants us to call on CD 1 but it's okay to call the first thing in the morning of CD 2.  That leaves me with 17 hours to decide what I want to do.