Wednesday, June 30, 2010

It's Just One of Those Crappy Days

Do you ever have one of those days where you just wish you could go back to bed and start the day over? I can't even cry about it because it's just so ridiculous I have to laugh.

My dog woke me up at 5:30 am this morning so he could get a belly rub,selfish bastard. He's famous for waking me up by licking my face or making loud sighing sounds. As soon as he sees that my eyes are open, he quickly rolls on his back with legs stretched out. It is funny to see, but really dog?? 5:30 am?? I ignored his requests and tried to go back to sleep but then he resorted to stealing my blankets so I just gave up and hopped in the shower. As I started to get into the shower, my dog puked all over my bed! I didn't even have time to get to him and move him to the floor. Gross!

Before I headed out to work, I tossed on some flip flops and took the dog for a stroll around the neighborhood. After I put the dog in the kennel, I went to work not realizing I was still wearing my flip flops. I walked into work and could hear the little sounds from my shoes. $hit!! There have been a lot of memos from HR in the last month about people wearing inappropriate things to work and flip flops were high on their list, so I ended up driving home to change my shoes. Thank god I only live 2 minutes from work.

I had my CD3 doctors appointment at 11am today. About 10 minutes prior to leaving, I found out that one of our clients was pissed about a project and now we have to smooth that situation over. I was so preoccupied with the situation, I forgot about the doctors appointment until my coworker reminded me. Instead of having 20 minutes to get there, I only had 7 minutes.

I still made to my appointment on time but then found out I have a giant cyst on my right ovary and wont be able to do this cycle. I have to be put on bcp's until it subsides. Grrrr.....

Now I'm on strict orders to not do a lot of strenuous activities. So much for some serious hiking, skiing, and tubing. On the positive side, I can still go shopping, drinking, and gambling..... ooh this is going to be a interesting vacation.

It just turned noon, I wonder what the rest of the day will hold for me?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

1 Cycle Down, On to the Next

Got a very gory AF going on right now. I was a little disappointed at first but I am keeping my optimistic position on things and am ready to move on to the next cycle. I just figured that I've got my first 33% chance out of the way and I'm going to have better odds on this one. I already called in another order of my donor's vials which should arrive at the doctors office on friday. I'm still waiting for the doctors office to call me back so I can switch my thursday appointment from just bloodwork to an ultrasound and bloodwork.

I think I'm actually more excited about this try then the last. I know what to expect during the process which is comforting. While I would rather be pregnant right now, now that I know that I'm not, I can now have a glass of wine around the campfire this weekend too!! Hell yeah!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Thursday Can't Come Fast Enough

What a rollercoaster!! I haven't had a positive pregnancy test since two days ago, so I assuming that it was still caused by the ovidrel.

I've been having some of the most painful cramps I've ever had in my life the last 3 or 4 days. About 10 minutes before I left for my restaurant job last night, I noticed I was bleeding. Bright angry red and more than spotting. I declared to myself that this cycle was a bust and already started to make plans to call for two more vials of my donor. However, as the night progressed the cramps subsided. By the end of the night I stopped bleeding completely. This morning I was spotting again but that has stopped too. I should have started my period friday and by this time I should have a full-on period but there is nothing. I just wish I had that blood test sooner rather than later.

On to less neurotic news, 5 days till vacation!! I can't wait to see my family and friends. I really miss them.

Friday, June 25, 2010

hmmm...let the over analyzing commence

I decided to take another hpt last night before I took my dog for a walk. I know one of our fellow bloggers started to get a positive hpt on 10dpo so I thought I would give it the try for the hell of it. I almost forgot about it and then remember to take a quick peek at it before I left. I had the slightest pink line, I thought my eyes were deceiving me so I brushed it off and decided to take one this morning. This time I used the all so fancy clear blue easy digital. Within 40 seconds "pregnant". So what does any girl do when she gets a positive......she drinks four gatorade bottles and tries it again. This time I just used a cheapy dollar tree hpt. This one came out negative. Did I dilute it? Is it the ovidrel? Am I pregnant????

I'm going to give it another try in the morning but right now I'm a ball of emotion I can't concentrate on work. BTW, I walked into the office this morning and all I can smell is gasoline. I thought I was going to puke on the spot. Interestingly no one else smells it. hmmm....

Thursday, June 24, 2010

By Popular Demand-My baby item list

Like most people in my family, I'm a shop-a-holic. As you've seen in past posts, I've already have made a dent in my baby item list. In a bizarre way, I guess it was a way to keep my mind off the 2ww. I figure if it doesn't happen this cycle it will happen in the next 3 months.

So I created a list of things I thought I would need. Some things are really "wants". To create the list I consulted with various friends and internet websites. A few of my fellow bloggers have asked for my list, so here it is:

Shopping List
1. Babywash/shampoo
2. Nail Clippers
3. Swing
4. Portable changing pad
5. Boppy
6. Co-sleeper
7. Adjustable Sling
8. Bibs
9. Diaper dekor/diaper genie
10. Diapers- box of NB
11. 10- onesies/sleepers, socks, cotton pants, seasonal clothes
12. 1-2 newborn hats
13. 4 swaddling/receiving blankets
14. Baby bath center
15. Alcohol (not to drink :)
16. Car seat/stroller
17. Baby medical kit
18. Disposable changing pads
19. Baby monitor
20. Gentle detergent
21. Glider/rocker
22. Diaper bag
23. Bouncy seat
24. High chair
25. 15-Bottles
26. Pack’n’play
27. Giant Pack of disposable wipes
28. 5-baby wash clothes
29. 2 hooded towels
30. Digital thermometer
31. 3-4 fitted sheets for crib
32. 5-7 lightweight blankets
33. 10 burp cloths
34. Crib/crib mattress/bedding
35. Baby lotion
36. Nasal aspirator
37. Infant acetaminophen drops
38. Infant-safe sunscreen
39. Breast pads
40. Lanolin cream
41. Milk freezer storage containers
42. Dishwasher basket for bottles
43. Bottle brush
44. Bottle drying rack
45. Pacifier and bottle sterilizer
46. Diaper rash cream
47. Pacifiers
48. Toys
49. Infant gas relief drops
50. Play mat
51. Tiny spoons/bowls (don't need for a long time)
52. Outlet covers
53. Sleep Positioner
54. Fisher Price Oceans wonders Aquarium Soother/Deep Blue Sea
55. Baby Food Processor
56. Baby Car Mirror

As you can tell I plan on breastfeeding and I hope to make my own baby food to save some money.

Hope this helps everyone!

I don't know if anyone else has heard of this but I was told ovidrel will be in your system for ten days. I had a shot of Ovidrel on the 13th and the 21st. I took a pregnancy test on wednesday morning to see if the ovidrel would still show up and it didn't. I don't think I gave the shot wrong because I have all the usual side effects. Has anyone else experienced this?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Getting a Little Nervous

I had my IUI's on monday and tuesday of last week and they seemed to go well. I was beaming of confidence all last week but I felt a little deflated today at my follow up appointment. Although my lining looked fantastic, my right ovary was still huge and my progesterone level was low (9 when it should be around 18). I'm taking another ovidrel booster tonight which should help except it could cause the cyst on my right ovary to grow. I'm still crossing my fingers for my BFP. I have a vacation lined up to see family over the holiday weekend and it would be fantastic to have some great news to share.

I am still buying baby gear like crazy! I had an initial needs list of 55 items and I only have 19 items left. The remaining are almost all big ticket items which I am hoping to find some at garage sales. I know this all sounds crazy and that I have completely jumped the gun. I have had quite a few pregnant girlfriends who waited until their 3rd trimester to do their shopping and then they were frantically trying to get everything ready at the last minute. My fear is that I will wait to long and not have the energy or ability to put up the new crib or paint. Plus I'm terrified that with the shorten cervix, I wont go full-term or be put on bedrest. I want to just kickback and enjoy this upcoming pregnancy (crossing my fingers).

Next appointment is July 2nd!

Monday, June 14, 2010


With IUI #1 under my belt, I am oddly calm today. I had a monitoring appt on sunday. The ultrasound showed that I had two follicles measure 18 and 20mm so I took my trigger shot around 5pm. I had my IUI this morning and will go in for #2 tomorrow and then the 2ww begins. I guess I didn't know what to expect, but the IUI was a pretty easy procedure. I just have a few cramps here and there. Not much fanfare involved. I thought I would be so nervous last night and wouldn't sleep, but again, I felt nothing but calm.

Yesterday I had to fight the urge to buy this really cute baby girl's outfit at kohls. It was so adorable, it just made my heart melt. I think I should post signs at local shops to prevent me from going into their baby section. If I keep buying things at the rate I am, I wont need to have a baby shower!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Still Waiting

After a quick moment in the stirrups, I am upping the dose again and scheduled to go back in on Sunday for more monitoring. I only had two dominant follicles on my right ovary: 14 mm and 15mm and my lining was at 9.6. I had a lot of small follicles on my left and a few smaller ones on my right. I'm surprised it's taking this long but I am OK with the wait.

I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend. I think I may finally tackle the ridiculous amount of movies and TV shows that have been waiting for me on my DVR. How does it get up to 70% so fast?? Sometimes I think it has a mind of its own and just randomly records stuff. I wanted to record one episode of Great White Shark Expedition (Paul Walker as a deck hand. Hell Yes!!) and instead it has recorded 6 of the same episodes in the last two weeks.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Rookie Move

I was pretty confident I couldn't feel anymore bloated and swollen as I was yesterday. I thought that was a sure sign that I would be ready for my IUI. I was very very wrong. I had 3 eggs on my right 12mm, 10mm and 10mm. My left had one at 11mm. I'm waiting for the doctor to review my bloodwork and the ultrasound, but the nurse seemed pretty confident they would up my dosage and continue treatment for at least two more days, possibly more. I'm scheduled to go back in on thursday for a follow up. sigh......

I tried to take my dog for a walk yesterday, but after one mile I had to keep stopping because I had so much pressure in my lower back. I can't even begin to imagine what I'm going to feel like in a couple of days (or in a couple of months :) ). It's all for a good cause though so I'm completely willing to sacrifice my comfort for a chance at creating a new life.

Monday, June 7, 2010

I feel like I'm going to burst!!

Wow this gonal-f works! I wasn't quite sure after my first injection, but I have so much pressure in my abdomen and my lower back, I know the meds are doing something. I will be shocked if they tell me at tomorrow's monitoring appt to stay on the meds for another day or too. So, I'm guessing I will do the Ovidrel shot tomorrow and IUI on the 9th and 10th. I can't believe the day is almost here!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Piece of Cake

I started the Gonal-f injections last night. I was a little nervous that I wouldn't give the injection the right way, but it ended up being super easy. It didn't hurt at all. I keep waiting for the awful side affects but so far have had none.

After filing a formal complaint about my supervisor and the intern, things have finally gotten worked out. Two weeks ago they told the intern that work has been slow and they could not justify hiring another full-time person in my department. Unless we could produce more jobs between now and the time she graduates this summer she was told to start looking for another job. Of course she got mad and started to blame me. I overheard a couple of conversations between the supervisor and the intern that were pretty clear that they were planning on doing things in retaliation that would affect my job. So I finally summed up enough courage to go to HR regarding the matter. After two stressful weeks, it looks as though the intern will be let ago by next week (boss is out of the office) and the supervisor has been told that he will lose his job if his behavior continues. Since the complaint he has definitely shown that he wants to try to work things out. It so nice coming to work at not having to worry about how my supervisor wants to get his girlfriend ahead by any means possible or having to hear my supervisor and the intern talk crap about me. Big relief. I hope this marks the end of this negative aspect in my life.

So I allowed myself to look at baby clothes and necessities last night. I hope I'm not jinxing myself. I still know that my chance of this working on my first try is only 33%, but I cant help thinking and hoping that I will be pregnant by the time this summer is over. That just sounds like music to my ears.

I go in for my first monitoring appointment on Tuesday the 8th. The doctor will determine the status of my follicles. From there they might tell me to take more medicine or take the trigger shot. By next week I could be pregnant!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Cycle 1

I can't believe this cycle is finally here! I'm nervous but excited. I have to admit that I woke up to a full blown panic attack on Sunday night. It freaked me out so much that I ran through my finances again and talked to a friend to reassure me. So this morning I called the clinic and scheduled my CD3 baseline ultrasound for Wednesday morning. According my calculation, my first IUI should be on the 8th.

I was suppose to go home this weekend to spend time with my family, but I was so busy with work last week I never got around to doing dishes, laundry and packing. Although it would have been great to see the family, it was nice to lounge around the house for a couple of days. Of course I can't sit still for long so I picked up a few extra shifts at the other job.

A couple of months ago I met this really cute guy while I was walking my dog. He lives in my apartment complex. We run into each other from time to time, but lately he seems to be around much more often. Yesterday he asked me if I could join him for a drink. Like an idiot, I said no. What was I thinking?? I guess I just don't want to be put in the situation where I need to tell him about my little baby adventure I'm on. But damn he's hot!! Something to ponder.....