Friday, October 14, 2011

What to do next?

I had my job interview yesterday and it went well. They are considering me for two different positions even though I only submitted for one position. I have a strong sense that I got the job but I was so nervous during the interview that I forgot to ask what the pay was! I did find out that they wont pay relocation costs which will make moving incredibly difficult, especially with the holidays right around the corner. I figured it would cost me at least $3000 to move which is a lot of cash to come up with in one month. Can I pull this off?

I didn't tell them I'm pregnant either and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I think I will tell them if they offer me a contract. I just don't want to move only to find out I pissed my new bosses off. That's never a good way to start a job.

I also figured if I move there, I would definitely be giving birth alone. There is no way my family or friends could drive there in time. I don't know why this is bothering me now when there is still a good chance that I will go through the birthing process by myself at my current location.

I'm worried giving up christmas time with family, going through birth alone, and losing paid maternity leave are some big sacrifices in hopes that my new job will be less stressful and more enjoyable than my current position.

If I wasn't pregnant, I would just go for it. But with a baby on the way, I feel 10x's more indecisive. I know I need to move on but I'm so scared that it will backfire and then I'll be stuck 800 miles away from home with no one to rely on.

Uuugh. I just don't know what to do.

Baby boy has been playing some games with mommy this week. He seems to enjoy tucking himself under my rib cage and putting pressure on a nerve. It has caused a tremendous amount of back and hip pain. For two days straight I couldn't take more than three steps without doubling over in pain. I called the nurse (man she has to be tired of hearing from me) A) to ask about what could be causing this pain and B) My co-worker has shingles and is still going to work everyday. The nurse told me I was already exposed to the Chicken Pox so I shouldn't have to worry about getting shingles or passing it on to baby. She also told me the baby was probably just laying on a nerve and that I should go and lay down on my side to see if I could get him out of that position. Sure enough, after an hour of laying on my side, I could feel him move and the pain just vanished. Tricky little man! He's floated back to that area a couple of times since then but at least I now know how to get him away from that nerve.


Little One said...

Good idea to hold off on telling them about your pregnancy. You're right to wait and see if they offer you the job first. At least then you know they want you, where as if you told them they might have a reason for not taking you.

Tiara said...

I agree you were right to hold off telling of your pregnancy until they make an offer...good luck!!

I can't imagine you having to go thru labour alone...I truly admire your courage. That sounds trite but I don't mean it to be. Us SMCs are a brave lot but you deserve extra credit. I wish I could be there for you.

Anonymous said...

I recommend getting a doula regardless of where you end up delivering. They are wonderful support people and I can tell you my experience with my doula made the whole birthing process that much better. (I would easily pick having a doula in the room over my hubby ANY day).

Best of luck with your decision!