Monday, October 17, 2011

I'm Past the Half Way Mark!

I'm officially 20wks today! I'm half way there. It's funny but a week ago I felt so prepared for baby to be here and now I'm starting to feel like there is so much more to do. I know I'm just being irrational. The nursery is set up, I have tons of baby clothes, diapers and other essentials. Again, I'm only half way! Why am I doing this to myself?

I haven't heard back from the new job yet and am starting to get anxious. I keep bouncing back and forth on whether or not I want to take it. I think the new job would be great and, so far, I'm pretty impressed with what I've seen of the Athens/Atlanta area. The part that I keep getting hung up on is the fact that I will be that much further from home. It's going to be really hard to do a 15hr drive with an infant. I could fly, which I'm not so sure is much better when you consider trying to carry all the things a baby needs plus my things. Plus, I would need to find a boarding place for my dog while I'm gone and that equals more $.

My mom asked if the thought of moving was more stressful than just staying here. Good question. As of right now the answer would be no but who knows what situation my new place will be in. At the end of the day, I still just wish I could be closer to family in WI and the new job would just have me living further away.

I did come up with a plan to work my ass off to come up with the $3000 to move. Even if I don't move now, I can put it into my emergency fund. The further along I get into this pregnancy the more fear of the unknown I have. Am I really making enough to pay for daycare? I won't be able to work a second job to make more money when I overspend one month. Am I going to be able to stay true to my budget? If I move, that $3k will be forever gone and I won't have more than a couple of hundred available. That scares the crap out of me.


Kristina said...

I don't know how awesome the new job is for you. If it is your dream job, then it seems to make more sense, but I haven't heard that yet? I know you need to get out of this job, but I think if you can just send out a couple dozen more apps/resumes, you would likely find a job where you are or a lot closer (especially if you just applied for the close ones!) I know it's hard in this market but you're an awesome catch, and I believe you could do it. The main thing I'm hearing is your need for support and need to be nearer to family - that's not a small thing. My two cents.

Jem said...

I agree with Kristina. If anything, you should be moving CLOSER to your family, not further away. You will be needing them.

Anonymous said...

I was in a similar situation a year ago. Ultimately I had to decide what my number one priority was: career, location of job, proximity to family, etc.. What I learned through the experience is that once you go after your top priority, the rest tends to fall into place. Also, no job is worth misery and unhappiness.....I quit mine, was unemployed 10 months, and am now in SUCH a good place and trying to become a SMC.

Good luck in your journey.

P.S. if being closer to your family is your priority, then go for it. There is nothing like having family support through a journey like this.

MeAndBaby said...

For me, once I became a mom, everything else became secondary. No one wants to be miserable at work but if I had to pick, knowing what I know now, I would choose to be near family rather than be alone with a newborn (or in my case, 2) in a new city. Even one close friend in town would be better than no one. And not just for the birth but for the days that follow too. But that's just me.

I hope this helps somehow. Best of luck with your decision when they offer you the position. I realize it's a pretty big one!

And congrats on passing that half-way mark! :)

Gille said...

Yay! The half way mark is funny. So so close then it feels so far! Congrats!

Speaking on the move, I had a job that completely drained me and was at one point blamed for the issues towards the end of my pregnancy. I can't say that I know how this feels for you but if its anything like I felt (everyday a struggle, tears, physically ill with the thought of staying) then get out when you have the chance.

I honestly think you can handle giving birth alone (though I hope you dont have to) but keeping a stressful job or trying to move after your little man comes will be harder. Seee what compromise you can make with family about coming in to help you or consider a doula both for birth and postpartum. If I were closer I'd definitely want to be there for you. Being without family sucks and again I hope you don't have to be.

I obviously don't know the whole situation but just throwing stuff out there.

Tiara said...

Congrats in being halfway there!! Yeah!

As for the job/move...that's tough...I don't think I could offer any better advice than the women above. Especially what Kristen said about your dream job. Good luck