It's baaaackk....kinda

So it finally started 5 days late. In the last few days, my mind has begun to wander to different extremes. The most ridiculous idea I had is: What if last cycle somehow mysteriously worked and I am pregnant. Wishful thinking. My mother gave me that idea. My mother was pregnant for three months before she found out she was carrying my youngest sibling. She had her period like clockwork for the first 2 months and then it stopped. My cousin didn't stop having her period until she was nearly 5 months, and then that's when she figured out she was pregnant. I guess it's more common than I thought. I guess I can't dwell on it for to long, I should be going in for my CD3 ultrasound on Saturday. I know this is really odd but I can't wait to start my injections. It just makes the process feel so much more real.

Moving into the bigger place in 25 days! Let the packing games commence! Best of luck to all the fantastic ladies that will be cycling with me this next month :)

Has anyone seen my period?

I have never been on BCP's for more than 6 mos at a time (I'm a rebel). I took them this last month to reduce the size of my cyst on my right ovary and stopped on Saturday. I figured my period would resume no later than Monday and I could start my next cycle. It's now nearing the end of Tuesday and there is nothing....no spotting... no cramps....no bloating...nothing. That would normally be a hallelujah moment but not this time around. If I don't get it by Thursday, I can't do this cycle due to a business trip that lands during the time frame of my approximate insem dates. Why does this have to be so difficult? I wonder if I'm going to get a period at all this cycle. Has anyone else gone through this before?

Game On

After reading a couple of comments from my last post (Thank you ladies), I decided to go ahead and do this cycle. I think moving during my 2ww would be a great way to keep my mind off of things.

I need to be honest here, I also want to do this next cycle because I have had four friends announce their pregnancies this week. Every announcement was more heartbreaking for me than the last. I am truly excited for all of them, I just wish I was a step closer to being called mommy. There are no amount of bills I can pay off or Caribbean vacations that I take that will satisfy this deep seeded need of having a child. Sometimes I start thinking about delaying my next IUI out of the fear of the physical, mental, and financial consequences associated with having a child as a SMC. I just have to continue to remind myself that problems always seem to work themselves out. So in the end I decided "Game on" or as a good friend told me "Suit up!" I should start my cycle around the 26th and I am so pumped for it (never thought I would say that about my period). Is anyone else cycling next month?

Just a little side question, has anyone else gained gobs of weight after being on clomid or gonal-f? I gained 12 lbs last month (I'm still working to lose them) and it all seems to be in my boobs, which is the last place I need excess weight.

Teeter-Tottering

The issue with my leaky ceiling has not been fixed yet. They can't figure it out. I don't know how this is possible, but that is what I've been told. I have had only one minor leak since my last post but now I have no ceiling in my bathroom. Glad I live in one of the most expensive apartment complexes in the city! They are letting me move out into a bigger place in 3 weeks and I can't wait. Half of me wants to just get the hell out of dodge but the other half is reasonable and figures this is a free upgrade (if you don't count the loss of my sanity and the constant fear of my ceiling caving in while I'm taking a shower).

But this situation brings me to another dilemma. I was suppose to start my next cycle on the 26th which means my next insemination will fall during my moving week. I keep bouncing back and forth on whether to delay my next try or hope that I'm not to stressed out that week and go for it. If I choose to delay, I will have to wait until the end of September due to my close friend's wedding. It's the wedding of the century and I can't miss it! lol. On the positive side, if I wait (and get pregnant at the end of September) I'll have a baby close to the 4th of July and will be able to pay off a student loan prior to being pregnant. I might actually pull off going on a cruise this January too.......hmmm (can't go on one after you are 24wks pregnant).

I just don't want to keep putting it off. If I put this one off, I'm missing another egg, another opportunity and I'm not getting any younger folks!

I'm Back

My vacation was great. I started with visiting friends in Chicago. They live downtown so when I arrived at 10pm, we decided to take my dog for a walk around Rush Street and the beach. It was nice being in a city that doesn't close up after 9pm. It really got me thinking about how miserable I am in my current location. I've been begging my boss to let me move into our other office, which is located in a major metropolitan area. Since the transition into the other office doesn't look possible, I think I might start casually looking for another job. When I moved here, I promised myself I would only stay 4 years. I'm going to hit the 2 yr mark in October. I can't imagine lasting another 2 years.

It was great seeing my friends, I miss being around them. I'm really excited for my best friends husband. He got a job opening a new restaurant with the winner from Top Chef. I think that's awesome! I really hope it starts to open up some new opportunities for them. They really deserve it after all the hard work they have endured to get to where they are in life.

My dog is so funny. He normally sleeps in bed with me, but since I was sleeping on the couch he insisted on sleeping on top of me. He weighs 92 lbs! Around 4:30 in the morning I could hear the tell tale signs of him getting sick (He was still laying on top of me). I didn't want him throwing up on the couch, or me, so I tried to quietly chase him into the kitchen. We circled the coffee table twice, pass the kitchen and straight back to the doorway of my friends bedroom where he threw up. I was mortified! I tried to clean it up but all I could find was some paper toweling and some water. I did what I could so they wouldn't step into it when they left their bedroom. Thankfully Sara saw it right away and helped me clean the rest of it up in the morning. Thank god my friends have a good sense of humor!

After Chicago, I went to the family cabin in the Nort' Woods of Wisconsin. Man do I miss every one's accents. Yahder ey! It's always fun spending time around the campfire, shooting the $hit. I went to the casino and won $50. That never happens so I guess I got pretty lucky.

Unfortunately the fire works got rained out and their was a ridiculous amount of mosquito's this weekend so we spent most of the day indoors. I watched "Edge of Darkness" for the first time. What a great movie. There was a couple times where I jumped out of my seat!

Towards the end of the trip, I went back to see my family in Milwaukee for a few days. Mom and I just sat around and talked. Of course no visit home is complete without a short shopping trip. I was very well behaved this time and spent $12. I've put myself on a very tight budget for the trip and was really proud of myself for not going overboard on this vacation.

I came back on Wednesday night to a flooded bathroom in my apartment. It seems like water is leaking from the upstairs apartments bathtub. When I got home there wasn't any water coming from the ceiling but the floor was wet and plaster from the ceiling was on the ground. The maintenance guy came to look at but said it could wait a couple days before they fixed it. He was dead wrong because last night most of the ceiling came crashing down and it looked like it was raining buckets into my bathroom. I called the maintenance guy 4 times and nobody ever came. Around 11pm the water slowed to a trickle so I finally went to bed. I still have no idea if they are fixing it today.

What a semi-depressing post! On the positive side 2 weeks before I start my next cycle!! I can't wait!