It's amazing how things change so quickly. I have continued on my tour of apologies and I have to say this is flat out humiliating. I can keep it together in the hallways and when talking to the people that I haven't really gotten to know all that well or know there is not a chance in hell I could have pissed them off. I come completely undone when I am in front of the people I work closely with and have a tremendous amount of respect for. It would kill me to find out if they are the ones that hate working with me.
Since the "I was testing you" comment of the marketing lady, I have gotten multiple "why the hell are they making you do this" which I really am not able to explain unless risking getting into more trouble and the latest response has been "What the F.... is wrong with your department". Maybe they are being nice, but everyone that I've talk to thus far(with the exception of marketing lady) has told me that they enjoy working with me and don't understand why they are making me do this. This is just embarassing. I still apologize to them profusely as I walk out the door just in case. Surprisingly, I've gotten a job offer from one of our department heads from the engineering side as a result of this madness. I thought that was pretty nice. So to recap I have one negative and 8 positive. Thank god it's the day before xmas break and there are not many people in this office because I don't think I can keep doing this without wanting to off myself (Just an expression of how depressing this is, I would not ever dream of hurting myself or my baby).
And then this happened:
After giving out one of my first apologies, that person went to HR about it and asked if they realized this was going on and wanted to know why (I don't know what else was discussed). HR just found me and told me that I could stop doing my rounds and that it was a bad idea on behalf of my boss. They didn't realize I would actually do it and didn't feel it was necessary afterall. Oh and now I am allowed to go to the engineers and ask questions without holding my boss's or manager's hands. Yippee. As crazy as it sounds, I hope to not have the gag order lifted, then I can continue to come to work and watch these two yahoo's (manager and boss)dig their own graves. I'll save my opinion of that for a later date :)