It Would Be Funny If It Didn't Scare Me Half To Death

I totally had a pregnancy oops on friday night. Since I seem to lack any sense of modesty or shame during this pregnancy, I thought I would share this little story with you.

I was working at the restaurant on Friday night. About three hours into my shift, I approached a new table and offered to take their drink and appetizer order. Within the minute and half that it took to take the order, I could slowly feel my pants getting wet to the point were I was starting to feel liquid dripping down my legs. I stayed calm infront of the guests but after I left the table I was in panic mode. I passed off the order to another server and hauled ass into the ladies room. I was soaked. The fluid was clear, didn't smell like urine and I felt like I couldn't stop the slow trickle. I had just gone to the ladies room about 15 minutes before this all happened so I couldn't imagine it being just urine. I was trying to rationalize everything but that feeling of "holy $hit" prevailed and I decided this is one of those times were calling the doctor is necessary.

I tried to make myself look somewhat presentable for my long walk across the restaurant, which inluded untucking my shirt and placing my apron in front of me (which probably brought more attention to my wet pants, than if I had just walked out with it in a normal location). I stopped at the host stand where my manager was hanging out. I think I scared him half to death when I told him that I'm having a bit of an emergency, showing him the state of my pants. All he could say was "Go,Go, GO!". I called the overnight service who got in contact with the on call doctor. I had already arrived at the hospital before he called me back so I just walked in.

The admissions woman was this nice older woman, who had some serious lack of computer skills. Who ever thought having a woman who can only type with one finger would be a great person to work the triage admissions desk is a genius. To make matters worse, she kept trying to crack jokes. I sat at the admissions desk for 20 minutes while she was trying to figure things out. Although I wasn't having any contractions, all this time wasting in this little office was just making me more and more stressed out.

I finally got to head in the triage room where they tested me to see if I was leaking fluid. The litmus paper they used will turn dark blue in the presence of amniotic fluid, yellow if there was none present. The test turned half dark blue, half yellow. The nurse sat there and studied it for a few seconds and decided it was inconclusive. I asked her if there was anything else that could cause the paper to turn blue which she said no. Hmm, ok. The nurse decided to do another test with a swab (I don't know what that test was exactly) and that also came out inconclusive. She left the room and called the on call doctor who decided to just release me. The nurse said I most likely just peed myself and that from now on, I should just be doing kegels as often as possible and wear a pad. How embarassing. Two hours at the hospital and probably an $800 doctors bill to tell me I have a bladder issue.

I am now wearing a bulky pad to capture the slow flow so I don't have to sit in pee pants all day long. Although I still have this fear that the nurse is horribly wrong, I have somewhat resigned myself to the fact that I will now have to suffer with stress incontinence issues for the next three months. Lucky me! Why didn't someone warn me about this when I got pregnant?