Friday, September 16, 2011

Ahh Sweet Pregnancy

So I'm enjoying the pregnancy thus far. In fact, most days I really don't feel all that different from my non-pregnant self however I've noticed a few quirks:

1: Snissing. Yes ladies that is sneezing and pissing yourself. I was in line at Panera about to order and I sneezed....and peed right through my pants. Of course this was noon so the place was packed and I'm sure people notice the wet marks on my pants. So embarassing. The funny thing is I just went to the bathroom before I got in line so where the hell did all this pee come from???? After I got my food (because dammit I was not going to leave until this prego got her ham and swiss sammy), I had to book it home and then back to work complete with a new outfit on.

2: Pregnesia. I have two examples of this and I have a feeling it won't be the last.
A: I went grocery shopping Wednesday night. On the way home I realized I wasn't hungry for a single thing I bought but I totally wanted chinese food (ummm pork fried rice) so I stopped and picked that up too. I got home and grabbed the chinese food and headed inside. The next morning I got up and was craving a glass of milk. I look in the fridge and its not there. Knowing that I've done a number of dumb things in the last few days, I started going through all my kitchen cabinets to make sure I didn't somehow put it in a place where it didn't belong. And then I realized that my cupboards where a little bare. DUHHHH. I left it all out in the car. The milk was bad. I bought a carton of ice cream that melted out onto my back seat. There is a smell of rotten chicken that has now permeated through out the car. I had to throw away about $50 worth of food. I'm so mad at myself!!
B: Also on wednesday, I went to the doctors office and then came to work. It was a perfectly sunny day but for some reason I turned on my headlights. When the headlights are on after the engine is shut off, the car makes a lound "ding" sound until you shut it off. How I did not hear this is beyond me but when I got out to my car 7 hours later to go home, my car battery was completely dead. Thankfully, some one jumped my car so I could go home.

3. Unwilling to accept advice and low tolerance of bullshit: I love my sister but she is driving my f'ing crazy. She's trying to be helpful by giving me advice but she wont accept any ideas but her own. On the way up to WI my sister called to talk about my registry. She wanted to "approve" everything that was on the registry to make sure I wasn't getting things that weren't necessary. I know it makes her happy so I let her at it. Surprisingly she liked what she saw accept I was missing Baby Einstein videos. I said I really didn't think it was completely necessary and I didn't want to give people the opportunity to buy things that I didn't absolutely need. She laughed at me and told me "its ok, you don't know this yet but you will never be able to take a shower, do dishes, laundry, etc. if you don't have this video to entertain the baby". I didn't want it to turn into an arguement so I just told her I can always buy them later if I feel that I need them. Granted, my sister is pregnant too and two pregnant women = a lot of hormones but she just kind of lost it and kept harping on me to add them. I finally just hung up on her. I never thought I would ever have an arguement over flipping baby eintein videos but I just had. Pregnancy madness.

4: Milking it for all its worth. I normally go to work dressed to the nines but in the last month I've been stuck between my normal clothes and maternity clothes. The non-maternity clothes I can still wear are pretty frumpy looking and are things that I would usually not even dare wear to work. Now I'm not saying that I look like I belong on the "People of Walmart" emails (the emails showing people wearing the most bizarre clothes) however I do look like I reverted back to the college-casual look. I trade my high-heels for sneakers, my khakis for jeans or worse drawstring cargo pants (so comfy though), and nice blouses for casual billowy shirts. I have been hit or miss on putting in contacts, choosing to rock my "hot librarian" looking glasses instead. I haven't entirely given up on makeup however my regimne is now down to strickly mascara and lip gloss. I had a co-worker mention that she was surprised that I have been dressed pretty casual lately. My response may make people a little upset but I totally pulled the pregnancy card. And you know what....I don't feel bad about it one bit! I figure I'm comfortable, I still look somewhat respectable, my feet aren't swelling up like a balloon anymore so this "look" may be staying here for a little bit longer, or atleast until I can fit into my jumbo maternity clothes. Sure I will still get all gussied up for meetings with clients, but my sprawling ass is no longer going to be squeezed into a pencil skirt (picture sausage and sausage casing) just to sit in my cubicle all day.

In other news, I knew I shouldn't have trusted the manager. He pulled another lie again to make himself look good. I haven't had any work to do so I asked him if I could help with any work, in particular, some mapping work for our big project. He said he had almost all of it done and was waiting on a few other things so he couldn't give me anything. He also indicated that he was about to run out of work himself. Today we had a meeting infront of our boss, who also heard me asking around for work from other departments. Boss man asked where we stood with the maps and the manager stated that he really hadn't started them yet and that he has been too busy to work on it. UHHH, WHAT? I just sat around for the last four days and could have totally done it. Then the boss man made a comment "well since lorelei isn't doing anything why don't we get her to help you". I'm just hoping boss man realized that I asked people in our department for work first and didn't just abandon our priorities. Then again he could totally view it as manager isn't "managing". This situation is exhausting. I will be working on more resumes this weekend. Hope luck will be on my side.


M said...

You gave me a much-needed laugh today. Thank you!

Good luck with the job hunt. I hope something good appears on your horizon soon.

Meg said...

Oh man the snissing! It gets worse as your belly gets bigger! I had to keep extra pants in the car.

Sorry about your groceries. Such a sad way to waste perfectly good ice cream.

Good luck with the job search!

Tiara said...

OMG! I so relate to all of these, lol! & the preggers-brain morphs into family makes fun of me constantly because I'm always asking, "what was I doing?" I know you don't want any advice ;) but I suggest you write things down...tho that wouldn't help with the grocery incident

I agree you about the SIL kept insisting I needed them but I've done just find without them & I have showered, did laundry etc :)

Little One said...

I agree with Tiara - I always wonder if I have early stages of Alzheimers now...when I used to pride myself on my memory. I lose focus in my train of thoughts, I never remember why I went into a room or what I needed to buy. It's just awful. Even words escape me now.

And, I find that even though I never really wore make-up before - just eye liner and mascara, I haven't put that on in such a long time. I have stopped flat ironing my hair, b/c why bother...and people keep telling me they like it wavy (which is so much easier). And with my comfy nursing sleep bra that I wear 24/7, I only wear casual clothes :) The joys of new mommyhood.

I'll add to the fact that I don't have baby einstein DVDs...Scarlett is just fine - she watches treehouse :) And when she was younger, I would bring her vibrating chair right into the bathroom with me while I showered.

Andrea said...


I've managed to avoid the snissing but I've been lucky my sneezy allergy nose has cooperated with me. I'm sure I'll get hit with a nasty episode soon. Not that I'm looking forward to it ... totall not.

I haven't had too much pregnesia but then again I'm a little crazy with making lists and double checking things like keys in bag or travel itinerary before I leave work. Disaster would otherwise ensue. I expect mommy brain to hit full force, though.

No arguments on Baby Ein.stein DVDs between my sister and I but we see eye to eye on the ridiculousness of a lot of what people try to sell to pregnant women. I don't think a baby is going to be deprived without one of these. And frankly, if she thinks it is so important she can buy one for your baby. Ha! You can tell her I said so. ;-)