Ignore This Post, I'm Just In A Foul Mood, At The End of My Rope, Hormonal, and Possibly Getting Strep

Could it be the hormones. Possibly. But regardless, I know I shouldn't ever storm out of a meeting but I did. I'm just so DONE with the bullshit. After the battle against the 15 minute survey at the festival, which I won without question when the boss got involved, I didn't know I was about to encounter another battle over another ridiculous idea and to be blindsided by a-hole of a project manager. If I could redo my day over since noon, I would...by not coming in.

I again was given the go ahead on a project by our boss. I told the project manager what I was doing to confirm that this is what we all had in mind before I finished it. "Great" he said. I go to the meeting and I start talking about how we are going to set up our booth at the festival and start showing them what I've done so far for our educational piece. In middle of my mini-presentation, he interrupts and says he is working on the same educational piece and this is what he has. Thankfully people said that his was over-kill and they didn't think we should go in that direction, but still, why would he try to work on something that he knows was assigned to me? I feel like I can't trust him AT ALL. I know that is not any new news but I just can't believe people will act like this in a professional environment. Normally this thing would not rattle me as much as it did, especially when he got shot down but then they completely got rid of the idea of giving out something for those who take the survey (I got permission to give away the 400 travel mugs, which have been sitting in the office closet for close to a decade). Instead they want to hand out temporary tattoos to the kids. Now tattoos are a great idea for another event we will be doing at the zoo (which is specifically geared towards children) however the big festival we will be attending is geared more for adults. What 40 year old wants to take a survey only to receive a temporary tattoo? The funny part is, our marketing person says they just want to hand out the little slips with the tattoo on it, not put it on the kids (which takes 30 seconds per tattoo). I think all this will do is get a few kids to run up long enough to grab the tattoo and then off they go instead of keeping them long enough to entice the parents to take the survey. On top of that, if you don't put the tattoo on people, and make it visible to others, your not going to cause interest in the booth.

That's the whole premise of people using balloons with the organizations logo on it. People see the balloons over the heads of the crowds and the kids want to find out where that kid got the balloons and so they seek out your booth.

What made me flee the room was after explaining this premise with the group, the marketer said that this "balloon/having to physically put the tattoo on people to create a buzz about the booth" doesn't make sense to her (She clearly could never get a job with the Nike marketing team who have become a great company because it's all about getting their logo EVERYWHERE) and then she flat out started to laugh at me and told me that it was ridiculous to think that the visiblity of our logo (via tattoo or balloon or whatever) at the event will not drive people to seek us out regardless so basically no matter what crap we hand out, it wont drive people to the booth. So are you telling me we shouldn't even bother with this event? (Thought it in my mind but didn't say it) She kept laughing and pointing at me and told me that she will never agree and that it is clear that I don't know a thing about marketing, silly planner.

We have a uphill battle to get people to take this damn survey. Why must we make it that much harder on ourselves by half-assing everything?

My boss actually sat with the a-hole yesterday to provide him some sympathy over his divorce. I wanted to shout out "what the hell are you doing, he's still sleeping with the intern!!" Instead I had to leave my cubicle to seek refuge in the bathroom so I didn't have to hear more of the lies from the manager. At least he is finally getting the attention he so desperately wants from the boss.

My co-worker Nicole got fired last week because she wasn't moving fast enough (she just started 60days ago and had never done this type of work before). I can't believe she got fired for this after knowing all the crap my project manager does and he still has his job. Why? I don't get it. I feel so bad for her, she was always nice and friendly. I never saw her screwing around, sleeping with interns, sabotaging projects etc. Why was she let go and not him?

Are you tired about constantly hearing about this crap? Sorry. I get so frustrated and I feel so alone here. I can't talk to any co-workers about it because this place is such a gossip mill. If I did, it will just get more out of control than it already is. I can't call my parents because I think they would freak out if I told them everything that is going on here. I don't want to call my friends to complain about it because I barely get to talk to them in the first place and I don't want to waste that time with me complaining. I would give anything to miracously get a phone call for a new job. I am so desperate I'm even thinking about changing careers.


I get so worked up about everything, I know this cannot be good for the baby. I've been trying to make sure I go for a long walk every night to help me sort out my thoughts and de-stress but it's just not working like it has in the past. The last few days I just can't stop thinking how much I am miserable here. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how I just want to tell my PM to F-off. I question whether or not I'm just over-reacting and my hormones are messing with my mind. I know I'm getting sick so maybe that is contributing to this feeling of desperation/depression. I want to enjoy this pregnancy and soley focus on the baby but I'm getting to the point that this job (not so much the job, just certain people) take all my joy for life away.

I'm exhausted. My apologies for the second rant in a row.