Sunday, June 19, 2011

Deja Vu (8dpiui)

I'm getting concerned that this cycle will be a carbon copy of last cycle. I had some horrific cramping early yesterday (7dpiui). Throughout the rest of the day, I notice some pinkish colored CM. It stopped this morning, which was a relief, however this is exactly how the downward spiral began last cycle. The only difference is I began bleeding at 11dpiui in that cycle. I keep telling myself it's a sign of implantation and am trying to keep myself from thinking that this cycle is over, but I've seen that BFN so many times its hard not to just assume. I actually considered going out with a couple of friends for margarita's but that would be admitting total defeat so I talked them into a movie instead.

I know early bleeding can occur due to low progesterone so I took an HPT this morning assuming that I would see a positive sign because the HCG shot I took thursday night should still be in my system but I got a negative which makes me wonder if my body just processes the HCG quickly. I'm afraid this also might mean that my progesterone is really low.

I finally figured out who I worked with that was also going through IF treatments. After 4 failed IUI's and one successful IVF, she is finally 11 weeks pregnant. We sat and talked about her journey for over an hour. It was interesting to finally meet someone in the flesh who knew exactly what I have been going through. She gave me hope. While my RE said the IVF procedure would be over $10,000 (if I remember correctly) her RE only charged $6000 for the procedure + 2000 for the meds. She even offered to donate her left over medication which I thought was great, but I am still hoping I will not have to get to that point.

I just wish my mind could be still.

4 comments:

M said...

I'm really hoping that the cramping and bleeding are from implantation. But I understand your concern. I'm having deja vu with this cycle, too. Last cycle, I had spotting at 7dpo and was certain it was implantation spotting. But, of course, no pregnancy resulted. This cycle I had cramping on days 4-5po, and some cm tinged with blood on day 5po. I want to believe it's implantation, but I'm afraid it's going to end up like last time.

*sigh*

Shannon said...

I hope this cycle just *looks* like last one, but is completely different, with a BFP at the end. *fingers crossed*

Jendo said...

I sincerely hope that this cycle brings a BFP regardless of its similarity. Wonderful for you to find a co-worker who can provide some medication and support.

hopefulcc said...

At 7dpiui, those signs are VERY optimistic. Totally understand not wanting to get your hopes up. Just a few more days and then you'll know for sure.
Lots of positive prayers to you that THIS cycle is THE cycle!