I had my 5th ultrasound on Wednesday. Cricket was dancing all around with his/her hands up in the air,feet straight out and booty wiggling. It was so cute! Heartrate was 174.
For the most part, my pregnancy symptoms have been nil, but from thursday to saturday, I had some pretty horrible bouts of nausea. I think I did a good job hiding it while I was at work but by friday afternoon it had gotten so bad that I gave up mid-day and went home. I've been 100% better today so I am hoping the last few days were just a fluke.
I broke down and started wearing maternity clothes this last week. Using a bella band works with some of my non-maternity clothes, but I'm always worried that my pants will somehow fall off. The maternity clothes are kind of big on me but they are so damn comfortable! I'm plus size and it has been incredible difficult to find cute/dressy maternity clothes. I think if I ever run into some serious cash, I'm going to start my own plus-size maternity line.
The date of my cerclage is approaching rapidly. This has been the first pregnancy related event that has made me more aware of my smc status. The pre-op nurse asked me if my significant other would be taking care of me the day of the procedure. I kept it simple and told her a friend would be helping me instead. But I was kind of lying to the nurse.
I asked a co-worker to drive me to and from the hospital. Unfortunately, I feel this ridiculous need to prove my independence so I told her, against the doctor's instructions, that I didn't need her to stay with me after she brought me home. I'm kind of scared about the whole day and I'm now regretting saying that. I know it should be ok for me to ask for help, but I can't seem to get away from needing to prove that I can do this all on my own. It's how I've always been (I don't want to be a burden), but going the SMC route, I feel like I just have more to prove. Has anyone else felt this way?
5 comments:
I empathized with this post concerning feeling the need to minimize help. I feel like if I asked for more help than absolutely required (i.e. someone to pick me up from the hospital) that I would demonstrating that I can't handle being an SMC. But, I'm beginning realize that I'm being ridiculous and way too hard on myself. Even first time mothers who are married required additional support so I am trying to be okay with asking for more help.
You're not the only one to feel this way but a huge part of being a SMC in my opinion is knowing how to ask for help. The ability to ask for help is part of the equation. :)
At a choice moms event, someone made the comment that if we were in a relationship, it would be okay to ask for help. But as a choice mom it is not easy to ask for help b/c "we chose to get pregnant on our own.". How does that make any difference than people who have spousal support and ask for help. But, still, I understand. I have wanted to be as independent as possible. I don't want to ask for help.
I'll second MaB's comment. As an SMC, it is vital to have a reliable support system in place (whether friends or family or coworkers) and there will be many occasions you simply need to ask for help. The trick, I think, is knowing when those moments really are. This sounds like one to me. Best wishes.
I hear you about the plus size maternity clothes...I had a heck of a time finding nice stuff...I ended up getting most of mine at Motherhood...shoot me an email at t.like.tara@gmail.com if you're interested in some hand-me-downs...
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