Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Pulled the Plug

So let's just say my conversation with my friends did not go as well as I had planned. After talking to a few other friends in our circle, there were quite a few people who felt the same way I did, so I didn't feel so bad when I made the phone call. I told them I really hadn't come up with any ideas but casually asked them what they still needed to get before the baby comes home. Alot of it was frivolous stuff that aren't "needs". Example: The crib she picked out was $700, which is insane to expect to get at a shower. Other things on her list were the day-to-day things like diapers (they got a lot at the shower but she has this crazy idea that they need a year supply). I think I did a good job explaining that when you have a baby shower, you can't expect to get everything to raise a child for the first two years, a shower is just something to get you started with the basics. She seemed to be ok with the response but about an hour after I got off the phone I received a call from another friend (who also thankfully stood their ground on the no-fundraising stance) who said she got an earful from the new mommy. Mostly, she feels that her and her husband throw these big parties and outings for our friends all the time and that we all owe them and are acting ungrateful. EEEKS! Our friend suggested that she might be going through some post-partum depression, which I thing she might be right about. I think the plan is just to let everything calm down and call them in a few days to see how the baby is doing. She RSVP'd to my baby shower on Monday (pre-phone call), which I hope she will still attend. Maybe this will all just blow over.

5 comments:

Single Mom 2b said...

People never cease to amaze me. Good for you for standing your ground! Their idea of a fundraiser to buy the rest of their "wish list" is absurd. I hope that it is post-partum rather than a sense of entitlement/being "owed". Wow!

Little One said...

OMGosh! I can't believe how self absorbed and materialistic some people are. As a choice mom I was so grateful to any hand-me-downs I got as well as gifts. I did not have a baby shower - Jewish tradition not to celebrate until after the baby is born. When I bought my crib, I bought sturdy yet reasonable...same with my mattress. Grrrr. I'm really annoyed.

Jem said...

Nothing you could say would make a difference with these friends. They feel entitled to have their baby subsidized. Period. Good for you for putting your foot down.

R said...

I agree with everyone above, and stand by what I said yesterday. You so do NOT need do ANY fundraising for this stuff/these people! There is no such thing as owing people for having parties... WTF?! I hope it blows over, too, and that it's a post-partum thing, because otherwise, I'd be even more frustrated for you!

Kristina said...

Yes, a fundraiser is a bit much, especially as it sounds like it's for high-priced items (wants vs. needs). I hope things do blow over and your friendship is not affected. I imagine it will. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts about everything.