Monday, November 14, 2011

So Annoyed

Before, I start going on a rant, thank you to all of those who commented on my last post. I want to make sure I find at least one childrens book for children born to smc's. This is a good start.

So why am I annoyed? When I decided to try to become pregnant on my own, I tried to plan for the financial and emotional requirements of raising a child. I've saved money and have bought nearly all the necessities without feeling the need to rely on others. With that said a friend, who conceived through an IVF treatment, just had a child that was born prematurely (27wks). The baby should be release from the NICU in a month or two. We held a baby shower for them a few weeks ago because we knew, due to the situation, they hadn't had time to really purchase too many items. Last week we learned the reason they hadn't bought a thing was because they were hoping to get everything from the baby shower. I recently received a phone call informing me that they want me to help host a fundraiser to come up with the rest of the money to buy things like a crib, diapers, etc. I'm so miffed!! I could understand if it was to help to pay for medical bills but their insurance is top notch and they will not have to pay for any hospital bills. His wife is still getting short-term disability payments which provides her 3/4 of her salary so they are not really losing out on much of her salary either. They make double of what I make and have a very nice home and multiple cars. They are also known for blowing obscene amounts of money to impress others. From the outside, there seems to be no reason that they couldn't save money for the arrival of their little one and now they are expecting all their friends and family to foot the bill. I need to call them back today to tell them my ideas for a fundraiser but what I really want to do is tell them to shove it (which I'm sure that's how I'm going to phrase it and then blame it on my pregnancy hormones). What would you do? I seriously want to go off on them and tell them how irresponsible they are being.

I know I'm not painting these people in the best of light. They are both very nice and go out of the way to help our friends and family with regular acts of kindness. They are great to be around and I've never felt like they are not good friends to have. However, they are just incredible irresponsible with money.

Adding to this feeling of being annoyed, on my road trip with my asshole co-worker, he tried to make it sound like him and his wife were still together even though I was present for a phone call between him and his bank while he was trying to get her name off the mortgage. He said he could "refinance at a cheaper rate without her name on it". We had a meeting on friday where one of our clients said to him "I'm sorry to hear about your divorce" which sent asshole into a stuttering frenzy. The client then said "it's ok, I talk with my employees (which he meant more specifically our ex-intern and the person asshole is having an affair with) and they, ahem, told me all about it". Asshole was pretty quiet the rest of the meeting. Later I found out he went to the secretary and finally, after 5 years of cheating on his wife, said that he was seeing the ex-intern, however the relationship just started and he wasn't sleeping with her. YEAH, SURE!!! He also said he didn't want anyone to know because he was afraid it would ruin his reputation at work, like nobody knew this has been going on for the last few years. Duh. And the funny part is, he told this all to a person who is a notorious gossiper so now the whole staff knows. I just get so annoyed with his lying. It just makes the situation even sleazier than it needs to be and it takes all the attention off of doing what we should be doing, working, and places it all on his ridiculous antics.


R said...

Your co-worker is certainly an asshole. Let's leave it at that, because I want to talk about your friends...

I think if they've had a shower, and gotten whatever they got from that, they have no reason or right to ask you or anyone else to host a fundraiser to help them get the rest of their stuff! What if you - as nicely as possible - tell them that you feel bad asking people who have already gotten them gifts for the shower to give even more money towards their baby items. Maybe suggest that you'd be more than happy to make a trip to Babies R Us or wherever to help GET the items, but that they'd need to provide finances. Or offer another way to help - maybe some people (not you!) could help with setting up the nursery, putting the crib together, etc. But explaining that you feel as though their friends (you included on this one!) have already spent the money they feel comfortable spending, would help them see the error of their ways. Maybe give some examples of things you've bought, versus things you're hoping to get from a shower.

Not sure if this is at all helpful, since I haven't been there (yet!), but good luck... And I don't think you should give in just because you feel put on the spot.

Heather said...

I think you are *completely* justified in feeling miffed at this couple. As a fellow SMC who paid for nearly everything, including the big stuff, on my own, I think their request for "fundraising" is completely off the deep end. I love the previous poster's suggestion of explaining that other friends have already spent their money on shower gifts and shouldn't be expected to pay for more. Good luck...I hope you'll stick to your guns and not give in and do this "fundraising" gig!! Ludicrous!

Tiara said...

I agree that this couple is out of line asking you & their friends to help finance the necessities for their child. If they needed assistance with medical seems even a bit insulting.

Btw, that asshole manager really is a piece of work!