Friday, February 11, 2011

I'm in a glass cage of emotion

So let's recap this shitty week shall we?

Monday - While walking the dog, dog takes off, dragging me through the mud 10 minutes before I need to be at work. Later that day, I walk into the wall. haha. Doctors appt reveals enlarge spleen and glands. What's up with that?

Tuesday - Create close and personal relationship with pavement outside of work after slipping on a piece of ice in front of couple of co-workers.

Wednesday- Phone call from doc reveals that I have mono.

Thursday - Leave work to head home after along day only to find my car is dead.

Friday - Doc calls again and tells me my pap tested positive for a bacterial infection, just great. Then I find out it will cost up to $1200 to get my car towed and fixed. Then I go to a meeting at the city for my big grant project and run into the ex-intern!! She wasn't in the meeting, but man did I get the "look". I kept my composure and walked inside the Directors office. They must have just hired her in the last few weeks, because I haven't ever seen her there before and I am in and out of the city offices quite often. I am still trembling from seeing her, it just brought me back to all those horrible moments of having to listen to her call me names and telling me that I don't know how to do my job.

After I left, I started to listen to my voicemail messages and found out that one of the jobs I applied for in November wants me to interview with them. It's a government position so there wont be as many "feast or famine" moments I experience here. It only pays slighlty more than what I make now. I will be four hours away from home instead of six. Oh and I will only be an hour and half away from the family cabin.

I called and set up a time for the interview but I am so confused. If I take the job there will be no baby in my near future. I will have to pay $1400 to get out of my lease plus other moving expenses. I have no idea what situation I'm getting myself into. The insurance might not be as good as it is currently. The hours will most likely be less. It's another new "lonely" place to move too but at least I can spend time with my family on weekends. I will be within an hour drive of Minneapolis.

On the other hand if I stay where I'm at, I have a lot of great work opportunities in my future, (hopefully) we finally corrected things with the manager, I get a large xmas bonus each year plus my insurance is FANTASTIC. I love everyone I work with, almost, they are like family. I hate the city (it's not really a city in my book), I can still have a baby, but will still lack a solid support network.

I don't want to waste this ladies time but I want to see if they can offer me a competitive offer to what I am currently making or receiving in benefits.

My head is spinning and I all I want to do is go to sleep and pretend like none of this has happenend so I can simply cease thinking. Maybe I will take a nap under my desk.


Tiara said...

Phew! What a week you've had! And what a big decision on your plate...if I can offer my humble advice, I think you should do the's can't hurt to find out what they have to offer & then stress about making the decision after they make you an offer...who knows, whatever they offer may make your answer an easy yes or no. Good luck.

hopefulcc said...

Thankfully, you don't have to make any big decisions this week. Or in the next few weeks :)
I agree with Tiara - you really have nothing to lose by interviewing. It may open another door to something bigger OR reaffirm you want to continue with your current position.

But first things first....feel better soon!!

obernon said...

I agree. Go on the interview. It can't hurt. you might walk out of there knwoing it is NOT the job for you and put it all behind you. Or find it is the Dream Job and it all will owrk out. Either way, life always works out. The path just isn't so clear at times!!

Good luck at the interview!