This has been a roller coaster of a week and I need to vent. I was out of the office for a meeting on Monday and clearly was not prepared to be thrown under the bus on Tuesday morning.
I walked in an immediately got pulled in to a meeting by the big boss and the manager. Both sat facing directly at me, kind of intimidating. As usual, the manager was trying to save his ass by putting the blame on me for going over budget on our latest project. The funniest part (not so funny, just sad and pathetic) I discovered a few months ago that we were missing a large element in our project but he insisted on doing it because this was HIS project and HE was going to prove that HE is a good manager. During that time I had no work for over a month so I sat around twiddling my thumbs, charging time to a project I was not allowed to work on although I was suppose to be according to the uppers, eating the budget. After a month of begging for work I finally got an insane pile of work to do and of course, that's when he decided he was going to pass the buck to me. I said I would try to get to it but I was swamped. He kept asking me to get it done and I said I didn't have time. Last week he said he had to have it done on Friday, but again, I said I haven't worked on it and I don't have time so he got pissed. So during this surprise attack he stated that I was refusing to do the work he requested for me to do. HUH?? Then he says he hasn't had any work to do and that I should of told him because he could of done it all. REALLY??? How many times do I need to tell you??
After this I said flat out "I feel like I'm being thrown under the bus". And they both said no, no and that it wasn't like that all. The rest of the conversation was a blur, I was just fuming. Of course by the time I got to my desk I was bawling my eyes out. I don't think I got any sleep last night I was so upset and mad so I decided to do something about it.
I get the feeling like the boss only as heard one side of the story so I sent him an email pleading my case, including dates, times, and previous emails of conversations that supported the truth. I'm so glad I do everything in emails!!
He took the two of us out for lunch today to work things out and the results were amazing! I'm still in shock. I'm evil, but I did the same thing he did to me. I turned in my seat so I was directly facing him, as if to say "I am not putting up with your shit anymore". Before anything was said by the other two, I stated three ideas I thought we could use to make us more profitable and stay within our budget, which seemed to make the boss man happy and I know I would be a lot happier if we use them too. I thought this would be a good positive topic to start with however it seemed to make the manager more nervous and agitated. From there we went for the heavy hitting topics. I knew the manager is incredibly insecure but I never thought he would admit this was the main cause of all our problems. Next to immediately, the manager started to tear up and admitted he has been purposely not teaching me anything for the last year and half because he was afraid I was going to take his job. He also admitted that he is jealous of the recent accalaides I've received and he just wants to prove that he can do his job better than me so he has been purposely making it look like I've been making a ton of mistakes. He said it pisses him off that everyone comes to me instead of him for answers even though he has more experience. He thinks everyone in the office hates him because of the intern situation from last year. Finally he said he thought because I am ONE year older that people had more respect for me than him (REALLY??? come on, that's BS). He also recognized that nearly all of his issues stem from his own insecurities and that he knows that this has nothing to do with me but he realizes he takes it out on me on a regular basis. It kind of turned into a pitty party.
The look on the bosses face during all of this was priceless, although I'm sure mine showed how shocked I was. I still cannot believe he came clean! I once again indicated I did not have any intention on taking his job. I told him I think he could be a great manager, he just has a lot to learn and then asked him what I can do to help him gain his confidence back. I thing the crazy part of all of this is at one point he pretended like he didn't know that he was above me!! Madness I tell you!
PLEASE LET THIS BE THE END!!!
I was still kind of hoping they would just transfer me so I can work under someone else, but hopefully this will do and things will get better. I think I'm going to enjoy a bottle of wine tonight. Yes folks, I said a bottle :)
56 days till my next TTC cycle!!!