Thursday, February 16, 2012

17 days......11 days!!! Update

So the sonographer got it partially right. I have been scheduled for an induction but it's not for this weekend, it will be next weekend. 11 days from now I will report to the hospital at 9pm to begin the next phase of my life, mommyhood.

The doctor didn't say anything to me about the induction last time because she wanted to make sure I was ok with it. I had previously told her (when I was 5 mos along)I wouldn't be interested in it unless it was absolutely necessary. So what made me change my mind? That leads me to all the other things going on.

So my dad's knee replacement surgery went well, according to my dad. The rest of the family said it hadn't gone well at all. He was released from the hospital only to be sent to a rehabilitation center. Dad says he will only be there for a couple of more days. The rest of the family says that he will be kept there until the first full week of March. Catching on to the pattern? Dad says the best weekend to have the baby is next weekend (24th-26th), Mom says they can't come down until the weekend of March 10th because of Dad's rehab. I can't get a straight answer. It sounds like no matter when I have this little guy, they are probably not going to be around for it.

Which brings me to the whole idea that I was planning to either take a taxi to the hospital or drive myself while I'm in labor. I've mentioned it on here once before and I've talked about it at work, but the overwhelming response was not to try either. The taxi service here is really hit or miss. They could get to you in ten minutes or two hours, depending on what time of day it is. A lot of the girls at work said there was no way they would have been able to drive to the hospital without getting into a car accident. I decided to mention it to the doctor today. I literaly live 3.2 miles from the hospital (8 minutes from my door step to the lobby of the hospital, I timed it today). She said without hesitation that I could definitely do it. I have had co-workers who have generously offered to take me, but little miss independent that I am, I really don't want them to have to go out of their way to take me. Plus I feel really weird about them staying and being there for the birth. I have a strict no-co-worker/seeing my lady bits policy. It creeps me out. If I'm induced, I really don't need to worry about finding someone to drive me to the hospital, I can just do it all myself.

Work has been bananas. I can't wait to be done but you've all heard my crazy stories. I've had five meetings in the last three weeks regarding my departure. Each meeting was meant to establish who would take over my unfinished projects. Each of the meetings are carbon copies of the previous ones yet no one seems to understand whose doing what or how to complete the project. This probably stems from the fact that they chose our secretary to complete the majority of my projects. She has no background working in my field at all. I think choosing her to cover me just shows how much my boss has no clue what I do. The whole thing is like watching a train wreck. You can sense how bad the results are going to be yet you can't turn away from the horror. She's just as freaked out as I am but there is no amount of explaining that will ever help her finish this work. I feel really bad for her, she's really stressing out over it. I can tell already that I am going to have some serious messes to clean up when I come back in May. In the same aspect, I'm thankful that I can get out of here soon. Since my last day will be on the 24th, I will arrive back 2 weeks prior to the due date for 7 of my projects. Although there is no way I can finish them in that short amount of time, I can at least clean them up a bit and correct some of the mistakes before they are submitted.

Last thursday, I received a text message from my aunt saying she can't wait to come down and meet the baby. Then she goes on to say that they (her, my two cousins and my uncle) aren't car pooling with my two other aunts, their husbands and my grandmother because she would go nuts being in the car with them for that long. I had no idea that any of them were planning on coming down, no one said anything to me about it.

At that point it sounded like they weren't all coming down on the same weekend, but then I find out that they are all coming down on the weekend of the 10th. If my mom was right and not my dad, that would be the week that my parents would be down staying with me. Then my aunt tells me don't worry, we are all (aunts, uncles, grandmother) staying at a hotel. I just kept thinking even if they are staying at a hotel, during the daytime, they are going to try to cram 11 people, 13 if you include myself and the baby, into my 900sq ft townhouse. That is standing room only folks! My living room only seats four people just to indicate how small my living room is.

I didn't know what to say to my aunt and I didn't want to offend her so I just replied back that I can't wait to see them. I then called my sister to tell her my concerns and she tells me that's the weekend that her and her husband were planning on coming down with their two kids (they were also planning on staying at a hotel. Now thats 17 people trying to cram themselves into my apartment. She told me she understood why I'm freaking out, afterall she just went through this in October when she had her daughter, however this large group only stayed for a couple of hours. Due to me living out-of-state, they are all planning (except my parents who will be here for a week) on being at my place Friday afternoon and leaving Sunday afternoon. If I went past my due date, they would most likely be there the first few days I would be home from the hospital. Talk about stress!! I would be learning to breastfeed and then also trying to play hostess, no way!

So I thought I would just start calling people and explain how everyone being here at the same time would be really overwhelming and to see if they could spread out their visits over the next few weeks instead of being here all on the same weekend. My sister thought it was a great idea but when I explained the situation to my mom, she freaked and told me that it was really rude of me to suggest it. I really do love that everyone is so supportive but all my aunts have kids, I think they would understand how hard it is the first few weeks after giving birth. I still haven't made the phone calls yet because my mom is so sure this is going to hurt everyone's feelings. Then Mom drops the bomb on me and tells me that my favorite Aunt, who has been battling breast, liver and bone cancer for the last 7 years, found out in November that her cancer was back. Nobody wanted to tell me because that was around the time that I was told the baby might have down syndrome. Since November she has been going through chemo but in the last week they found out that the chemo didn't work. Basically, this trip to see the baby wasn't just for the baby but it's also to be a positive fun trip for the whole family to be together and support my aunt. How can I tell them to space their trips out after hearing that? Who knows what else they are not telling me about my aunts condition?

I figured the only way to give me some time to get settled in before the family descends on my place was to take my doctor up on the early induction offer. She said that their really wasn't any health benefits to keeping me pregnant past 39 weeks so I've decided to go for it. I've heard great things about inductions and I've heard horror stories about them. Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself when I say this, but I heard good and bad stories about getting a cerclage removed, yet it really wasn't that bad. I'm just hoping for an uneventful birth of my little boy.

For the next week I'm going to just focus on doing things that will make me prepare for my induction. Maybe some longer walks? Lots of pineapple? Sex is out of the question (Even if it was available, it doesn't sound appealing anyways). I'm already dialated to 2 cm and am 60% effaced. Lets see what I can accomplished between today and next sunday.


Jem said...

Um, YOU are NOT rude. Au contraire! It's rude to invite yourself down to visit someone who just gave birth without asking THEM when would be best for THEM. it's NOT about them and their schedule. It's about what's best for YOU and your baby.

This is the one time in life where you need to be very clear about what's best for you and express it to them with love.

How about saying... "Everyone (including my doc) has told me that the baby needs two weeks of quiet after the birth, with just my parents being there to help out. I could really use some help on X weekend, instead Y. Would that work for you?"

Then they'll be the @ssholes for saying no.

If this is too difficult for you, do you have someone in the who can advocate for you? Who can play the baddy? I'll call them for you, if you want!!!!!!

Single Mom BB said...

On top of what Jem said (and I agree with everything she said)... that's an awful lot of people to be exposing a newborn to (at once) when it has not been through immunizations yet.

I see the dilemma with your Aunt's condition however the whole situation sounds like a circus. As Jem said, it's about what's best for you and the baby!

Ali said...

So exciting that he will be here soon!!! That many people visiting at the same time would be stressful even if you weren't taking care of a newborn. I'm sure your family will understand if you explain that to them.

Tiara said...

That is a lot of family for you to have to arrange on top of having a newborn...I hope everything works out with timing. 11 days! So so exciting!!! You get to meet your son in just over a week!!! I can't wait to see photos of the little guy!