So the redecorating I planned to do definitely did not occur. I noticed a few weeks ago Cooper dog started to develop these little sores on his belly. He's had them in the past and I thought, after spending over a grand figuring out what they were, we had taken care of the issue. So after a $330 visit to the vet, Cooper dog now has to take antibiotics twice a day, goop to put into his ears, shampoo to wash his belly with twice a week and we are now starting him on a food trial to see if he has food allergies. The food is incredibly expensive ($80 for a 25lb bag). Ouch. The redecorating will have to wait until some other time but that's ok, I just want to nip this issue in the butt.
I have been incredibly bloated the last few days and I've been having shooting pains on my left side. Thank god I have a pair of dressy fat pants or I would be back to sitting at my desk with my pants undone.
I normally have pretty clear skin but, right now, I look like a 15 year old teenager. My hair is a greasy mess, and for the first time in well over a year, I went to work with my hair pulled back into a pony tail. At least I didn't skip the makeup this morning or I would really look like a hot mess.
I go back to the doctor on wednesday to monitor my progesterone and check the status of my ovaries. I've had two boxes of ovidrel staring at me when I open my fridge. I can't wait to use them and get the influx of side effects to be done and over with. Getting rid of those boxes just signafies another step closer to getting my BFP. I've been riding this alternating feeling of ambivalence to "This is THE CYCLE" feeling. But I'm calm and not obsessing like I was during the first two cycles. I don't have the urge to buy and take a gazillion hpts.
I think the last two cycles I was semi-terrified that the cycle WOULD work but that's not phasing me now either. In fact, I endured my co-workers five minute rant regarding the lack of men in children's lives and that this is the reason our society is falling apart. This co-worker, who I respect and admire very much, does not know I've chosen to go the SMC route. Normally a rant like this would have me doubting my choice, afraid of my concequences of such a bold decision, but it didn't this time. I actually just chuckled at the end of it, patted her on her back and said "you know there are other factors involving the changes in the moral fiber of this country". And then that was the end of it. I think I have made peace with my choice therefore I am truly ready for my BFP. So God, BRING IT ON!!